Shikamaru's Ninja Wagon
by lulgijak
Summary: It’s a new assignment for Shikamaru as well as an excuse for the chunin to goof off with his friends when he gets the opportunity to mix business with his new found hobby. Meanwhile Kankuro is left vowing revenge.
1. Chapter 1

_SUMMARY: It's a new assignment for Shikamaru - as well as an excuse for the chunin to goof off with his friends when he gets the opportunity to mix business with his new found hobby. Meanwhile Kankuro is left vowing revenge._

_DISCLAIMER: Naruto: don't own it or the characters._

_This is my first Naruto fic, and hopefully not my last. So far it's been fun to write, I just hope I can keep my creative juices flowing for this story and also take a brief hiatus on the one that's been driving me crazy with its ending!_

000

"_WAAAUUUGH_!"

"This is it isn't it?" (Sob) "We're all gonna die…I don't wanna die a virgin – and in this funky old jalopy!"

"Damn you, Shikamaru! Damn you to hell for dragging us along with you and getting us all killed in this death trap!"

"Kiba, would you shut up!"

The six Konoha shinobi were sinking slowly into a dark pit of sandy death.

"Alright," Shikamaru suddenly roared over the calamity going on around him, "would everyone please stop freaking out? I'm trying to think!" The boy gripped the steering wheel of the station wagon tightly in both hands and squeezed his eyes shut in concentration. In the seat across from him, Chouji continued to blubber hopelessly as Kiba and Naruto shouted back and forth.

"Guys please don't fight," Rock Lee raised his hands, pleading for some kind of sanity from the others, "Shikamaru-kun is right; we must try to stay calm!"

Kiba whipped his head around from the back seat to face the green-clad boy. "Stay calm; have you lost your mind? We've just dove nose-first into a pit of quicksand!"

"Don't look now, but I think it's starting to seep in through the doors," Shino spoke up.

"This is it," Kiba hugged Akamaru tightly, "I'm gonna miss you, buddy!"

"Hey Shikamaru," sniffed Chouji, looking over at his ashen-faced friend, "I just wanna say that even though you may have caused us all to die a slow, suffocating death, you're still the best friend I ever had…"

"Damn it! I'm not ready to die yet; there're so many things I'll never get the chance to do," wailed Naruto. "Like become Hokage, or meet Jet Li, or win a ramen-eating contest!"

"Aren't you forgetting the most important thing that you never got the chance to do," Lee asked him.

"You're right," gasped Naruto, "I never got to third base – not even to _first_ for that matter!"

"Well…I guess there is that, but what about the promise you made to Sakura-san about bringing Sauske-kun back?"

"Huh? Yeah, whatever," The blonde boy waved a dismissive hand at him.

"Hey guys," Shikamaru rested his head against the steering wheel and sighed, "I just wanna say that I'm sorry for getting all of you into this – Kiba's right, it is all my fault…"

Shino anxiously eyed the growing pool of wet sand at his feet and sent a hoard of his chakra bugs to try and clog the gap in the door.

"Aw, don't blame yourself too much Shikamaru," Kiba muttered ruefully, "After all, it's not like you forced us to come along or anything."

"I have something to confess," cried Naruto, "Kiba, I was the one that I switched your soldier pills for tic tacs – sorry about that."

"That's okay, Naruto, I pretty much figured it was you, and that's why I'm sorry for putting worms in your ramen – and for putting bugs into Shino's trail mix."

"Wait… When did you put bugs in my trail mix?"

Kiba grinned apologetically, "Just before we started driving."

"Well, I guess that makes us even then," grunted Naruto.

"Speak for yourself," Shino grumbled.

"You know, this was the best trip I've ever been on – up until the point where we drowned in quicksand that is – I'm going to miss all of you guys, and being alive, a-and training with Gai Sensei and Ten Ten – and – and even _Neji_," Lee to burst into regretful tears of his own.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye to my mom," Chouji blubbered all the louder, the two weeping in unison.

"Damn it," shouted Kiba, reproachfully through his own sniffles, "are you two ninjas or a couple of sob-sisters? You make me sick; why don't you just shut up already!" Beside him in the seat, Akamaru whimpered quietly.

Shino and Shikamaru exchanged surreptitious glances through the rearview mirror, both struggling to maintain some semblance of composure befitting shinobi. Of course it wasn't too hard to appear stoic behind shades and a collar that hid practically your entire face, thought Shikamaru enviously.

Meanwhile, incresingly more streams of the deadly liquid continued to seep in through the station wagon's many small crevices. Soon they would all be swallowed up – that is if they didn't run out of oxygen first. The unfortunate team leader put his head in his hands. He had failed his friends once again, and, unlike the Sausuke recovery mission, this time it didn't look like they were going to escape with their lives.

_Three months earlier…_

There was no time! Shikaku burst through the front door, glancing hastily around. He nearly jogged straight past Shikamaru sawing logs on the couch in front of the TV before he spotted him. The scarred man halted before his slothful son with a satisfied smile.

"Hey Shikamaru, wanna do your old dad a big favor," he asked, leaning over the sleeping teen's ear. A loud snore was the only reply the older Ninja received.

"Hey you," the boy's dad prodded him in the ribs with his finger. Without opening an eye, Shikamaru swatted his hand away and rolled over.

With the expert precision of a veteran magician, Shikaku kicked the couch completely out from under Shikamaru who seemed to hover in place for a split second before he came crashing down. The boy hit the hardwood floor with a heavy thud.

"Ow, dabbit! By dose!"

"Oh good, you're awake! Look boy, I need you to do something really important for me."

Shikamaru pinched his nostrils shut and glared at his father, "What? Why should I; I think you just broke by friggin' dose!"

"Oops, sorry about that – just walk it off."

"_Walk it off_? You must be the worst parent in the entire world! What's wrong with you," the boy shouted.

"It's about Tina," began Shikaku as if he hadn't heard.

"I don't believe this; what about Tina?"

The older man wrung his hands together restlessly and gave the clock a glance as he spoke, "You have to go find her. She's turned up missing again and I'm afraid something bad might've happened this time."

Shikamaru favored his dad with a look of disgust. "You busted _my_ nose and mom's furniture for this?!"

"_Shhhh_! Not so loud, she might hear you say that – about the furniture I mean!" Shikaku glanced behind him like a frightened mouse being stalked by a cat.

"Good," his offspring smirked wickedly, "I think she'd be interested to know about how you treat her household possessions – what if my blood had gotten on something and stained it? _Hey mo_- "

The flustered Shikaku quickly clamped a hand over his teenage son's mouth. "Shaddup will ya," he hissed. "Normally I wouldn't ask you to do this, but I have a very important mission to go on this morning, and I don't have time to look for her myself. Just go out to the forest and call for her; she needs to take her medicine today or she'll relapse!"

Shikamaru's face softened slightly at his dad's distressful request. Although the last thing he wanted to do was go tromping through the woods first thing in the morning, Tina _was_ the old man's favorite. The Nara loved their deer like the Inuzuka loved their dogs and the doe was like a beloved pet to Shikaku which would follow him around wherever he went. Shikamaru, however, was a different story.

"Oh come on dad," the boy shoved his hand away, "Even if I did go looking for her, she won't let anyone but _you_ touch her anyway! Besides, I don't want to be mule-kicked in the ribs again."

"You won't be; just bring some salt-lick along with you and she won't care who you are."

Shikamaru gave a long-suffering sigh before finally relenting, "Alright I'll go, but you owe me big for this, old man."

"How about I beat you in a game of shogi when I get back?"

The fifteen-year-old shot to his feet in very un-Shikamaruesque fashion and jabbed a finger in the man's face, "Not on your life, you hack – I'll hand you your ugly butt on a platter!"

Cackling maniacally, the scarred ninja zipped back to the door and tossed a small round tablet to his son. "That's hilarious kid, now be sure and feed that to her. I'll see you when I get back."

000

Shikamaru leaned his back against the tree he was sitting in and stifled a yawn. He'd been at it for a little over half an hour now and he was already bored out of his mind.

"Tina, get out here and take your medicine already – you fat lard!"

Sighing in frustration, the boy abandoned his perch in pursuit of a better vantage point. He needed to be able to see as much of the land as possible in order to decide which way would most likely lead him to the wayward doe. On the highest cliff on the Nara clan's land – the young chunin surveyed the vast woodlands yawning before him.

"From this view I can see almost to the Village hidden in the Sand" mused shikamaur randomly, "I wonder what Temari's doing right now." His half-closed eyes drifted aimlessly over the treetops; he was slowly forgetting why he'd come up here in the first place.

Just as he was thinking of finishing up the nap that his father had so rudely awakened him from earlier, suddenly something caught his attention that he'd never noticed before – a badly overgrown path leading into a large thicket. Curiosity quickly replaced whatever notion he still had of searching for his dad's deer as he made up his mind to do a little exploring instead.

Passing through the overgrowth, he followed the trail until he came upon a startling discovery. The path came to an abrupt halt in front of a long neglected house squatting among a mass of climbing weeds that slowly threatened to overtake it. The crumbling roof looked like it might fall in at any moment, and slapped onto the side of the shanty like an afterthought, sat an equally dilapidated garage, its door dangling crazily from a single hinge.

Shikamaru was astounded by the bizzare sighting. His mind boggled that he could have spent his childhood learning every acre of these woods and still have managed to overlook something as big as an entire house hidden in his own back yard.

He slapped his forehead in dismay; "Man I suck! What were those idiots smoking when they decided to make me a chunin?"

Nevertheless, he had to find out for himself what the hell was inside.

000

Nothing but a few sticks of broken furniture remained in the living room and little else. The house itself stank of mildew and mothballs. Quickly loosing interest in the barren, dry rotted rooms and about to suffocate, he soon found himself wandering toward the doorway leading into the garage.

Whoever had previously owned the place had obviously left in a hurry because all of their tools still lay scattered on the garage floor around the crappiest car Shikamaru had ever seen. Upon examination it appeared to be an old station wagon. Paint chipped off its sides in flakes, revealing a dark coating of rust beneath. Nuts and bolts littered the floor along with various other car parts that he couldn't identify.

"What a bucket of rust," he scoffed, kicking a creeper out of his way, "why would anyone waste time trying to fix up such a piece of junk?" Why indeed he thought to himself as he once again studied the assortment of tools and car parts decorating the floor. Unwillingly, his mind started identifying different pieces and fitting them together; he began to see them all coming together to form a whole. As soon as he realized what was happening, the chunin attempted to turn away, but found it was useless. Just as he'd feared, his compulsively analytical brain was now completely fixated on the abandoned project.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes at himself in disgust, knowing it was already too late; whether he liked it or not, he had to fix up that car.

"Crap," he exclaimed, suddenly remembering the reason he'd come out here to begin with. Hastily, the boy rushed back out to resume his search for his dad's errant deer, though it would probably already be too late to give the doe her medication.

000

Afternoon slipped into early evening as the luckless Nara finally made his way back home. He must have come across every animal on his family's land except the one he was looking for. Still debating what story he was going to tell his dad, Shikamaru quietly slipped through the door and headed for his room. His mother, however, spotted him before he could reach safety.

"Where have you been all day long," Yoshino demanded from behind him, hands on her hips.

"Uh," he turned reluctantly to face her. Something about the look on her face told him that if he valued his life he'd better not lie, "I was out in the woods taking care of something dad asked me to do."

The woman remained cryptically expressionless while quietly watching him sweat. "That's interesting, what did your dad have you do that took you half the day?"

"Well actually I did happen to come across something interesting while I was out; mom," he responded, smoothly skimming over her question, "Do you happen to know anything about an abandoned house smack dab in the middle of our forest?"

"What about that old place – it used to belong to your great uncle Fujita."

Shikamaru inwardly congratulated himself on successfully distracting his shrewish mother; "Why haven't I ever seen it until today?"

She shrugged, "Uncle Fujita didn't like visitors – especially his family members – so he used to hide his house using genjutsu."

"So what happened anyway? Where is he now?"

He could tell her patience was rapidly dwindling as she answered, "He went to live in a home several years ago after he fell and broke his hip."

"Why haven't I ever heard of a great uncle Fujita until now," he pressed on, "and what was he doing fixing up a car?"

"Stop asking questions, Shikamaru," she snapped, "I know you're just trying to change the subject! Now I'll ask you again: what did your father send you out to do?"

The teen glanced around hopefully, "So he's not back yet?"

"No, now answer me!"

"Well," he fidgeted, "he just asked me to give Tina her medicine…"

"And _did_ you?"

"I swear woman, will you give me a little credit," he said in his most indignant tone, "What do you _think_ I did – spend all day out in the woods without even doing what dad wanted me to?"

Yoshino said nothing, but only continued staring at her son. A smile spread slowly across her face which Shikamaru was sure hid a row of fangs behind it. What had he just missed? A fine sheen of sweat glistened across his brow and upper lip as he struggled to keep his breathing as even as possible. The woman, he well knew, could smell fear better than a ninja hound could.

"Hmm… that's very interesting, because I found Tina sleeping in the garden just a few minutes after your father left this morning and she's been with me all day."

Shikamaru forced a strangled laugh, "Well, what a relief! I was just so worried about poor Tina getting her medicine in time, but I guess everything worked out after all!"

"Sure seems that way. Hey I have an idea – how about we don't mention this to your father at all, and I'll go fix you a snack while you sit on the couch and watch TV?"

Shikamaru gaped dumbstruck at her until she could no longer hold back and began cackling with sadistic laughter at her doomed son.


	2. Chapter 2

_Wow. I've managed to post this chapter in record time...mainly because I already had it halfway written when I posted the first one. I'll still try to update as often as possible - I'm having fun writing this. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far; hope you like this next chapter._

_Three days later…_

"Well here we are again," Temari smirked at him in the entranceway to the village.

Shikamaru shifted his eyes to the other person standing slightly behind the jounin. "What's your brother doing here – is he also helping with the chunin exams?"

Without looking back, she jabbed her thumb at the other jounin, "Who him? He's just here for the buffet, that's all."

"Actually, I'm here because Temari and I are supposed to go on a mission together after she's finished here," he corrected while giving his older sister a dark look.

"Whatever," shrugged the chunin, "You can go ahead and get settled in your quarters if you want and I'll take you to your meeting with the fifth later this afternoon."

Outside the Hokage's office several hours later, Shikamaru and Kankuro sat on opposite sides of the room trying to ignore one another. Shikamaru was feeling especially tired and irritable due to the fact that he not only had Chunin exam responsibilities to take care of, but he also had both of his parents on his case about the whole Tina incident. His mother had, of course, ratted him out (he'd expected nothing less from the treacherous woman) but his dad had been equally if not more upset even though everything had worked out fine in the end.

The tension at home had mounted so high he'd found himself actually looking forward to getting away and helping out with the chunin exams – what he hadn't counted on was having to deal with Temari's annoying brother tagging along.

Luckily, he'd come prepared. Shikamaru casually reached back and pulled a rolled up issue of _Auto Restorer Weekly _out of his kunai pouch. The days following the discovery of his uncle's house and old station wagon he'd spent primarily holed up in his room reading car magazines; he still wasn't sure where he would go in order to get all the working parts he needed to get the old clunker started (it wasn't like Konoha had an AutoZone or anything) and was beginning to think that his project might soon be destined for the scrap heap.

"So, you interested in cars?"

Shikamraru glanced up to see Kankuro gazing intently at the magazine he held. The boy gave a half-hearted shrug, "Only just recently."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

The chunin turned the page without looking up, "because I recently acquired one."

"Yeah right," the puppeteer smirked, "what kind?"

The first boy glanced up sharply, "It's a wagon."

Kankuro stared at him for several seconds longer before letting out an obnoxious guffaw, "Wow, I can totally picture that."

"Whatever," Shikamaru again raised the mag to his face, he thought, effectively shutting down the troublesome sand-nin.

Kankuro obviously couldn't take a hint, however. "So how and why do you now own a shaggin' waggin'?"

"… I guess you could say I inherited it."

"Drive around a lot," he asked with a stupid giggle which the chunin ignored.

"No, it isn't running; I'm trying to fix it up, but it's pretty much a hopeless case."

Kankuro leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on a nearby coffee table. "Well Tamari's probably going to be a while in there…why don't you take me to see it in the meantime?"

The leaf-nin frowned irritably at him, "Why are you suddenly so interested in my lame old car anyway?"

"Look, I'm _bored_ and I couldn't care less about the stupid chunin exams; Temari doesn't need either one of us right now. Besides, I happen to know a thing or two about mechanics; maybe I can help you out." He grinned reassuringly at the other boy's cynical face – "Seriously."

000

"Well here it is," Shikamaru pushed past the rotted garage door and held it back for Kankuro. Everything remained the way the younger boy had left it, including the slowly deteriorating car in question.

The Suna puppet master walked leisurely around the large automobile, letting his eyes run appraisingly over its rusty surface; Shikamaru thought he saw a strange glint in them for a moment, but decided it was must have been a trick of the lighting. At last the older teen came to a stop beside the chunin, a hand thoughtfully stroking his chin.

"Y'know, I can really see potential here…some new parts, a paint job and a new interior – we could trick this bad boy out!"

The fifteen-year-old turned to him incredulously, "Whaddaya mean, 'we'?"

The painted kid crossed his arms, "Well, do you not _want_ my help? This project could get very expensive – or are you just so individually wealthy and knowledgeable about cars that that you don't need my jounin salary and expertise?"

After briefly considering what he said, the other ninja frowned, "So what's in it for you?"

"Well, since I'm going to be providing a substantial amount toward this restoration, I think it's only fair that I'm allowed to choose stuff like the paint and interior colors, you know, that kind of thing."

"Um, I'd definitely like any kind of cosmetic decisions run by me first," Shikamaru inwardly shuddered as he pictured driving around in a car with Kankuro's trademark purple streaks decorating its top and sides.

"Also, I want free access to it. In other words, we share it fifty/fifty."

"Okay, first of all let's set up a few ground rules; one: we agree to let the other know before we use it, two: when not in use, it stays here. Also, let's not forget that I'll probably be doing most of the actual work seeing as how it's in my backyard and you live all the way in Wind Country."

It was Kankuro's turn to look dubious, "Whatever; you're such a lazy bum. Can I really count on you getting _anything _done without me here?"

"Hey, you haven't even proven that you can deliver yet – where are you gonna get all the parts we need?"

"Uhhh, there's this new thing now – it's called the internet."

"Shut-up," growled Shikamaru, annoyed at his own dumbness.

"Anyway, first let's take an inventory of what we need and what's still salvageable – this piece of crap looks like it's probably been sitting in here for at least ten years now."

After twenty minutes or so of examining each part as well as raiding the toolbox the two gradually made their way back to the Hokage's office where a very noticeably pissed off Temari already stood waiting for them.

"Wow, eh-heh, you sure got through earlier than expected," her brother grinned uncertainly at the blonde kunoichi.

"Where the hell have you two been," she snapped, "I've been waiting for almost an hour out here for Shikamaru's bony ass so we can check over the examination grounds while it's still daylight!"

"Relax, we've already taken care of it," Kankuro lied before the younger boy could say anything, "figured it would be better than sitting around waiting for you to get out of your meeting."

Temari halted in mid-tirade to give him a startled look "Wait a minute; you did?"

"Sure," he shrugged, "now come on and let's get something to eat already – I'm starving!" Kankuro glanced slyly back at the leaf-nin as he steered his still confused sister away, throwing a backward wave over his shoulder as he did so. Shikamaru, meanwhile, was left to self-consciously ponder whether he really didhave a bony ass.

000

The hour was earlier than he liked to be up, but he had a busy day ahead of him and he needed to use his time wisely. Shikamaru sat on the floor sorting through the hundreds of rusty parts he'd managed to salvage. At his side was a large pot containing a dubious black substance he'd swiped from the kitchen counter that morning and into which the boy dropped particular pieces from time to time.

He and Kankuro had made some nice progress the previous day he'd had to admit – perhaps having the sand shinobi help him out wasn't going to be such a bad idea after all. The two had agreed to meet later that day while Temari met with the representatives from the various other ninja villages participating in the upcoming examinations. With a sigh, the fifteen-year-old stood and stretched his stiff muscles before heading out to take care of a few errands before the other boy arrived.

He found Ino busily arranging a flower display outside her family's shop window. "Hey Shikamaru, fancy seeing you around this early in the morning," the girl teased as she spotted him. "Are you meeting Chouji for breakfast or something?"

"No," he answered, "I'm actually out looking for a few things for a project I'm working on."

Ino went back to arranging her flowers. "Oh really, that's interesting," she said without sounding interested at all.

"Yeah, actually I was wondering if you might be able to help me out with it."

His slightly startled teammate now looked inquisitively up at him, "What do you mean; what kind of project are you talking about?"

"Well, I don't really need you to do anything. I was just wondering if you had a stethoscope I could borrow or something," he explained.

The medical-nin's mouth fell open like he'd just asked to borrow a pair of her underwear. "What in the world are you planning to do with my stethoscope?"

"Oh I don't know, I thought I'd use it to perform brain surgery."

"Shikamaru…"

The brunet rolled his eyes, "It's just so I can hear what's going on inside the engine I'm building."

Ino's look grew even more incredulous as she began to laugh, "I liked the brain surgery line better – seriously, what are you up to?"

"Could you take a break and get it for me," he asked, "I'm kind of pressed for time; I'll explain on the way."

000

"I think you're nuts," said Ino as she and Shikamaru walked up the steps to the hospital.

The boy shrugged, "It's just a hobby."

"But what are you going to do with it after you're finished?"

"I don't know – drive it."

"Where," she snorted, "And when are you going to find the time much less patience to work on a car between giving the chunin exam and going on missions? I mean, the only thing you ever do in your spare time is sleep and play shogi after all."

He gave the blonde an annoyed glance, but realized she brought up a valid point. "I've got someone helping me out."

"Who around here knows anything about car repair," Ino continued to scoff as she pushed the door open.

"Hey lazy kid," a familiar voice suddenly shouted from the street. Ino and Shikamaru both turned to see a dark-clad, hooded boy waving up at them. "I've been looking for you!"

The teen in question looked back at his female companion with a deadpan expression before wordlessly pointing to the wildly gesticulating puppeteer.

"You've got to be kidding," groaned Ino.

Together the two guys followed the kunoichi into the hospital and back to the locker room where the medics stored their supplies and other personal items. She walked up to one of the lockers and opened it, rummaging through the metal baskets inside, "I think I have one here; let me just open up these drawers and check the equipment," muttered the blonde girl.

"Would you like to open up my drawers and check _my_ equipment," offered Kankuro unhelpfully.

The medical-nin wrinkled her nose in disgust, "Go check your _own_ 'equipment', creep."

The puppet master laughed heartily while Shikamaru resignedly rolled his eyes.

Presently Ino whipped out a stethoscope which she thrust at her teammate, "here; just don't bring it back with grease or any other crud all over it – and I _do _want it back!"

"Thanks," replied the examiner, pocketing the instrument.

"Great," Kankuro clapped his hands together, "now let's get going while Temari's still busy and out of our hair."

000

"You know, I think that teammate of yours is an even bigger buzz-kill than my sister is." The two guys had made their way back the Nara residence and were now standing in Shikamaru's uncle's garage once again.

The younger boy said nothing, but merely grunted noncommittally as he bent down to check the rusted objects he'd placed in the pot of tar-like liquid earlier that morning.

The sand shinobi shot him a sly glance, "You've got the 'hots' for her don't you?"

The chunin's droopy eyes suddenly popped wide open, "What the hell are you talking about, - I don't even like older women!"

"Wait a minute – who are _you_ talking about," inquired Kankuro, "I meant your teammate."

"Right, um, are we going to work on this thing or not," the Nara boy grumbled, quickly recovering his compsure.

The jounin's attention was abruptly pulled toward the malevolent-looking pot the other sat over. "What's that nasty black crap and why are there engine parts soaking in it?"

Shikamaru held up a large bolt to his smiling face and scrutinized it before answering. "My dad's infamous coffee – it's undrinkable, but it's ideal for cleaning the rust off machinery."

They were able to work for a couple hours until Temari finally finished with the last of her meetings. Dutifully, the chunin examiner saw off the Sand Village ambassadors.

"Well, I guess I'll see you again in another six months," said Temari with one of her haughty, lopsided smirks, "provided I'm still in charge of handling these arrangements at that time."

"Yeah, maybe I'll come out to greet you then – if I don't have anything else better to do," the leaf ninja replied with a sneer of his own. Behind the girl, her brother grinned suggestively while wagging his tongue between forked fingers at Shikamaru who shot him a withering glare.

"I should be back before too long," the male jounin put in, "since I don't have any other missions lined up after this next one, so don't fart around too much while I'm gone, 'kay Nara boy?"

The chunin languidly shot him the bird.

Temari looked questioningly between the two guys for a moment, but when neither one offered to explain the cryptic exchange she merely shrugged and rolled her eyes. "Whatever, let's get going Kankuro."

Shikamaru watched the pair depart until they were no longer visible, then slowly turned back toward the village and began walking. He would have to leave the car for another day. For now, he thought with a heavy sigh, he had exams to prepare for.


	3. Chapter 3

_Yikes! Sorry to have left everyone stranded for such a long time, but at least I've written an extra long chapter to make up for it. So hopefully, I haven't lost all of my readers yet!_

_Almost three months later…_

_Knock, knock…_

Nara Yoshino looked up from her mortar where she'd been carefully grinding deer antler into a fine powder for the past several hours. Wearily massaging her cramped fingers, she made her way to the door and opened it to find the Hokage's messenger, Izumo, on the other side.

"Hello there," she smiled cheerfully, "you must have come to pick up a new batch of our antler powder; I'm almost finished grinding it."

"Actually," the dark-haired young man replied with polite formality, "I'm here for Nara Shikamaru."

"Oh?" The boy's mother beamed, "Has the Hokage selected my son for some sort of special assignment?"

"I really don't know that much, ma'am; I was simply told to get him."

"Of course," she gestured the chunin inside, "Let me just –um– find him for you." Having not seen her son all day long, Yoshino cringed with maternal embarrassment at the sudden thought that the teen could very easily still be asleep at this hour. "Shikamaru, come down; there's someone here to see you!" She again smiled serenely at Izumo before offering him some tea while he sat.

"I'm sure he's probably just working on some research. He's so diligent I can never seem to tear him away from his studies," laughed the woman a bit louder than she'd intended. Izumo merely sipped his oolong while eying her apprehensively over his cup.

"Shikamaru," she quickly shouted again.

000

Meanwhile, deep in the forest, the oblivious shinobi lay on his back beneath the vintage vehicle in Nara Fujita's old garage. He slid the creeper out just far enough to reach a nearby wrench before wheeling himself back under the chassis.

The car's transformation over the past several months had been incredible, and admittedly a large portion of the thanks belonged to Kankuro. Shikamaru had half expected not to see him any more after the jounin left Konoha, but the puppet master had surprised him by returning four days later with most of the needed parts on their inventory. When asked where he'd acquired his bounty, however, the other had remained vague and Shikamaru didn't press for details. The younger ninja, meanwhile, learned quickly from his companion's mechanical prowess so that he could improvise fairly well when the other wasn't around.

Of course Kankuro's help did come with 'strings attached': mainly his cosmetic taste. Shikamaru was obliged to let him choose the exterior and interior colors; he'd been prepared for as much. What the young Nara hadn't counted on, however, was the sand-nin's getting acid green snake-skin for the upholstery. Never the less, after the initial shock had worn off even the reluctant chunin had to agree that the scaly hide _did_ look pretty sick on the wagon's long bench seats. The paint job likewise was a garish purple with complementary yellow flames licking their way up the front of the car.

All in all, Shikamaru was pleased with the results of their labor. Best of all, it hardly seemed like work at all to the laid back teenager who recently spent the majority of his free time down in the garage tinkering.

While methodically tightening bolts, Shikamaur's brain slowly slipped into the trance-like state that it sometimes achieved during long shogi matches or while he was cloud watching. Usually, he'd fall asleep soon afterward; even now he could feel his eyelids getting comfortably heavy while staring up at the hang of interwoven tubes and hoses like a baby under a mobile.

"_NARA SHIKA-MARU,_ GET IN HERE _NOW_!"

The angry voice sent the mechanic up off the floor with a sudden _clang_ followed by a jolt of pain exploding through his cranium.

"_Sonofabitch_," he cried, collapsing back onto the rolling wooden slab.

Several agony-filled minutes later the fifteen-year-old stumbled shakily through the back door – sporting an angry purple lump on his forehead and an even angrier expression.

"What in the world," his mother exclaimed, horrified, "have you been _doing_?"

"I was just dreaming about how nice it would be if I didn't have someone who was constantly finding ways to make my life a living hell, but then horrible reality bludgeoned me over the head with an iron manifold! Congratulations, mom, you win again!"

Yoshino blinked a couple times, incomprehensively. "Why are you standing there raving on like a lunatic…The hokage is waiting to see you, Shikamaru; hurry up and go with Izumo here!"

000

One miserable trip across town later found the reluctant young ninja standing in the center of the hokage's office.

"What took you so long," grumbled the fifth to her messenger, "I sent you off over thirty minutes ago!"

Actually it had only been twenty five minutes, Izumo considered correcting her, but decided not to. He instead turned an accusing look on Shikamaru, "We would have been here sooner, but nobody knew where to find the kid when I got to his house."

Lady Tsunade dismissed his response with a wave of her hand, immediately sending the mistreated messenger out to get her more sake. The demeaned Izumo, looking more than a little put out, promptly disappeared in a puff of smoke to do as she bade him.

"Well then," began the hokage, turning back to Shikamaru. She paused as her eyes came to rest on the goose egg growing out of his forehead, "Would you like for me to fix that up for you?"

"If you wouldn't mind too much," answered the boy.

"Well then," repeated the fifth after brusquely applying charka to his swollen cranium, "as you have probably heard, I have a rather special assignment for you, Shikamaru."

The young man made a face, knowing that by 'special' what she most likely meant was 'sucky'.

The fifth hokage took a deep breath and continued, "As of late, our village has been seeing a steady drop in jobs coming from outside Fire Country – not our primary source of revenue, but still a significant enough percentage to make us mildly concerned. It would seem that many of our long-time clients in neighboring countries have either died out or started taking their business to other villages. Considering how large we are, we run a higher risk of budget cutbacks if this trend continues." The big busted woman, who'd been gazing thoughtfully out her window, now turned to see if Shikamaru was following her.

The chunin nodded dutifully.

Pausing distractedly, Lady Tsunade stared moodily at the stacks of paper covering her desk. He heard her mutter something under her breath, but all he could clearly make out was "…collateral damage worth more than his mission paid – damn reckless Gai." At last turning back to Shikamaru she said simply, "There are a lot of factors involved, of course, but it basically boils down to public relations – an area in which our village has _sore_(Her nostrils flared slightly as she emphasized the word) need for improvement. That's where you come in."

He raised a perplexed eyebrow at her.

Tsunade suddenly gave him a warm smile as if to butter him up, "What Konoha needs is one of our younger ninja to reach out to the next generation of leaders out there and show them what we have to offer over other hidden villages."

"Isn't that what the chunin exams are for?"

"Sometimes," she countered, "it takes more than just fighting prowess alone to attract clients – there's also the business aspect to consider. You, Shikamaru, more than any other young chunin I can think of, have a knack for reading the subtleties in people and situations. It's because of your natural skills as a communicator, at least in part, that you were assigned to be an examiner. Anyway, you might as well go ahead and wipe that whiney expression off your face because you're doing it whether you want to or not!"

After Tsunade gave him a map showing him the cities he was to visit, she sent him out to prepare for his upcoming journey. Shikamaru skulked around town for a while until he eventually ran into Chouji and Naruto outside the toe-headed boy's favorite ramen stand.

"Hey Shikamaru," they shouted in unison as he passed.

"What's up," sighed the other boy lackadaisically.

"Hey you look kind of crappy," his teammate observed as he approached, "What's the matter – has your mom sent you to the drug store for more 'feminine products?'"

Shikamaru quickly clamped a hand over the plump boy's mouth and glared, "No, and shut up."

"How can you even tell a difference," frowned Naruto, leaning his face in close enough to count Shikamaru's nose hairs, "he always has that same expression on his face."

Shikamaru leaned away from his personal bubble-invader and looked grimly from one boy to the other. "Would you guys give it a rest? If you really want to know, the Hokage is sending me all over the countryside like some kind of insane ninja-carpetbagger, that's all."

Shikamaru filled them in on the details while joining the other two for a bowl of ramen. "…So I've got until tomorrow afternoon to assemble a team and be on my way to Waves country." Expectantly, the young man looked between his two companions.

"Hmph," Chouji grunted noncommittally between slurps.

"So who do you think you'll choose," Naruto asked offhandedly.

Shikamaru chewed the end of his chopsticks thoughtfully, "Well, I was kind of wondering if you guys might be interested, actually."

Both boys stared down at their bowls, avoiding eye contact with the chunin examiner. At last Chouji, his conscience getting the better of him, broke and met his friend's eyes with a weak smile, "Um sure thing, Shikamaru, I'd be –uh- happy to go." Their eyes now turned expectantly on Naruto who made no response but to continue eating.

"Naruto," asked the dark-haired teen pointedly.

The blonde slowly cast a sideways glance at him, "Whu iff it?"

"Would you also like to join our perilous mission," the other ninja asked alluringly.

The boy seemed deep in concentration as he slowly munched his noodles. Shikamaru could almost see the cogs turning behind the genin's metal head protector as he grasped for a compelling enough reason to refuse the offer. "Man I'd really love to, but I've already planned to train with Sakura and Sai all day tomorrow."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes at the predictable response, "Sure, whatever."

The three went back to eating silently, the mission leader mentally plotting out his impending trip. The longer he thought about it the more the idea of taking on such a tedious assignment which hardly even paid anything irked him. He didn't know how long it would be until he'd have the chance to try out his almost finished set of wheels. Forget about Kankuro who was positively frantic to take the station wagon out for a spin.

Suddenly, a brilliant idea struck him and caused Shikamaru to nearly choke to death on broth.

"Hey, um, you're not literally supposed to inhale your food, you know," Chouji, who knew from experience, informed him.

"The station wagon," he gasped through his coughing fit, "must finish – before – tomorrow!" He turned and, grabbing his portly teammate for support, accidentally slipped off his stool and crashed onto the ground. The other two stared down at him in astonishment.

000

"I remember Ino telling me something about you messing around with an old car that belonged to your uncle, but I had no idea you were doing something like this," Chouji exclaimed.

The two ninja stood before the gleaming purple automobile slack-jawed with amazement. Naruto gazed wonderingly through the tinted windows at the snake skin interior, "Whoa, that's siiiick…"

The dark-haired chunin smirked with quiet pride while happily answering all of their questions. He then turned a flushed face to Chouji, "I only have a couple more things to take care of and it should be roadworthy by this time tomorrow I think."

"Cool, and I can help you too; who knows," his best friend said, "With all the extra time we'll have we might be able to take some scenic routes, pick up girls, anything we wanted! We'll be traveling in style – it'll be more like a vacation than an assignment!"

"Yeah," said Shikamaru dazedly, "like spring break."

"Sweet," Naruto put in loudly. Both boys looked at him.

"What do you mean: 'sweet'," asked Shikamaru. "You're not going; you have to train."

"Yeah…oh well, sucks to be you," said Chouji unsympathetically.

The blond boy's face fell momentarily, "Well yeah but, um, I was just thinking that maybe I could let them train by themselves for a little while if you really need me to come with you. If there's one thing I totally worry about, it's the Hidden Leaf's relationship with other lands and stuff. I mean, I'm always talking about it – just ask Iruka sensei!"

"Well, when you put it that way," the pony-tailed boy said, appearing to wax thoughtful, "I'm not so sure I even _want_ you on my team."

"Aww," whined Naruto pathetically, "why not? Come on you guys, don't be such douche bags!"

"Well if you can't ask any nicer than that, then definitely not," said Shikamaru with further resolve. "Let's put it to a vote; all in favor of Naurto going raise your hand." The genin's hand immediately shot into the air while the other two made no move.

"_Come on_," cried Naruto, he stomped his foot and bits of plaster showered down on them.

"Geez," grunted the dark-haired shinobi, twisting a finger around in his ear, "We were just kidding, you idiot, you can come if you want to so badly. Now shut up before you bring the whole house down on top of us."

For the rest of the day the other two boys worked to help Shikamaru. It wasn't until many hours later that the three ninja finally stood back to admire the fruit of their labor.

"Nice," marveled Naruto, he shot the others a sly look, "But shouldn't we take it out to see how it handles before we head out tomorrow?"

As Shikamaru opened his mouth to respond his mother's loud voice answered the suggestion for him, "Shikamaru, you'd better be at this table before I finish tossing the salad!"

The boy pulled a face and turned to the other two, "Not today – just meet me back here in the morning and we'll go over the game plan together, alright?"

000

Shikamaru found a larger crowd than he'd expected when he eventually sauntered out to meet his team at the appointed spot the next morning. His frowning visage took in Naruto's orange and black garb first, then traveled over the disheveled head of Kiba, the hooded head of Shino and finally over Lee's shiny bowl cut. Chouji smiled sheepishly from the stump where he sat slightly apart from the rest of the group.

"Hey, you're here finally," cried Naruto, waving animatedly at him before jerking a thumb at the others, "We told these guys about your car, and they all wanted to see it."

"This is sooooo awesome!" Kiba seemed unable to contain his excitement, "I love going on car rides!"

"Naruto has told us all about Hokage-sama's plan to bring new business into Konoha," declared Lee, "and we all wish to usher in this youthful new era as well!"

Shikamaru stuffed his hands in his pockets and slouched forward, "so is it safe to assume that you _all_ want in on this job?"

The assembled shinobi nodded eagerly.

"Even _you_ Shino?"

The bug-user crossed his arms obstinately, "Well, I'm not getting left behind again."

"But don't you get it," sighed Shikamaru, "this isn't some kind of life or death mission – it's an errand at best – a lame excuse for me to drive my car around. If you're looking for some extra spending money you'd all do better to leave yourselves available for serious assignments, you know."

"Yeah we know," stated Kiba with a shrug. Lee and Shino nodded in agreement. "But we wanna go on a road trip and meet girls too!"

Shikamaru's eyebrows rose and he repeated, "even you Shino?"

"Yes, that's right," the aloof ninja replied curtly from behind his high collar, "Why do you keep singling me out like I'm some kind of weirdo who never does anything fun?"

Shikamaru wisely skimmed over the question. "Well oookay then," the laid back brunette continued, "I guess it's a good thing it's a station wagon. Sure, it's fine with me if you guys want to come along – as long as you're willing to split the cost for gas."

"I call shotgun," yelled Chouji.

The six boys piled easily into the seats until, "Oh wait a minute," exclaimed Kiba, "hey Akamaru – get over here!"

A thundering bark rang through the trees and a massive dog leapt down on the hood, placing two large muddy paws on the windshield while slobbering happily all over the glass as he gazed in at them. After Kiba's huge, filthy best friend was ordered off the new paint job, Akamaru was obliged to be hosed down before being shoved into the back with Kiba, boy and dog poked their heads out either of the back windows excitedly.

No road of any kind lead through the forest, however a narrow, overgrown path did lead up to the house. Fortunately, the two mechanics had managed to convert the wagon into an off-road vehicle for just such obstacles, and they were soon following the path out onto to the village's main drag.

000

Kankuro had successfully wrapped up yet another assassination mission – probably his fifth in the last couple months. He wished his kid brother would stop screwing around and give him some serious missions instead of the same lame old crap. He, along with his former sensei Baki, was skirting near the border of Fire Country while the two men made their way back to Suna. The sun was rapidly setting; however, they had no plans for stopping until they'd reached the halfway point between the Leaf and Sand villages.

Before long the high walls of the Hidden Leaf came into their view. Kankuro was shaken out of his bad mood as he remembered the business he had there. Nearly three weeks had passed since he'd seen his baby! He needed to stop by and visit her or she'd think he didn't love her anymore – she might even start thinking of that bitchy little shadow caster as her real daddy! Kankuro knew better though; he'd been the one who'd envisioned her true form while she was still just a scrap heap of potential ergonomic beauty rusting in a forgotten corner of the Nara clan's property. Most importantly, though, he knew that she was almost ready for her virgin expedition, and he wanted to be the one to pop her eight-cylindered cherry – it was only right that he get first dibs on her as the one responsible for making her what she was.

"Go on ahead," he suddenly told his companion, "I've gotta make a stop in Konoha."

Baki's brow furrowed, "Again? What, have you got a girlfriend there or something?"

"Something like that," grinned Kankuro.

Baki looked incredulously at him – uncertain of what the boy might be implying – but shrugged and continued on as the young puppeteer veered off toward the village.

Having successfully passed through ANBU's security checkpoints and received permission to enter, the jounin strolled down the thoroughfare toward Shikamaru's residence. Along the way, something made him freeze in mid-stride. Kankuro's blood ran cold as he gaped down at the street – the barest traces of a set of dried mud tracks marked the cobble stones. The sand-nin dropped to his knees refusing to believe what he beheld as he inspected the tracks in the hopes that he was mistaken – but he was not.

"Damn these incredibly perceptive eyes of mine!"

Kankuro knew those treads like he knew the back of his hand, besides that, how many people in Konoha drove cars?

"I know that turd-face didn't just take my car out! He dies now – he dies screaming!"

The newly determined teenager turned around and headed straight back out through the Hidden Leaf's great double doors, following the trail left by the little Nara rat. He could tell the tracks were already a few hours old, but never mind, he'd catch up sooner or later – then there'd be hell to pay.


	4. Chapter 4

_Well, it seems I've taken forever once again to submit my next chapter, but better late than never I guess._

"Take the next right, Shikamaru," Chouji, his copilot, directed around the map in front of his face. The purple station wagon lurched off the dirt road, at last hitting pavement. Naruto once again poked his head in the gap between the front seats; he was sitting in the middle between Shino and Lee while Akamaru and Kiba occupied the back-most seats. "Are we on the highway yet?"

"No," said Shikamaru, gesturing out at the two lane road, "does this look like a highway to you?"

"How should I know," groused the yellow-haired boy, "I've never been on one before."

"Look here, Naruto," said Chouji, pointing at the map, "We just turned here and we have to go all the way down this road before we reach the highway, which should be in about another twenty kilometers."

The funny thing was Shikamaru had never been behind the wheel before today. He'd just assumed that he knew how to drive in the first place – which in retrospect hadn't been his brightest move. Straight away he'd come within centimeters of hitting two of his dad's deer and afterward narrowly avoided driving them into a large ditch – and that was only before they'd gotten out of the forest. Needless to day, most of them had their seatbelts securely fastened by the time they passed through Konoha's double gates.

"Hey Lee, what do you think you're doing with your foot in my face," demanded Naruto presently. Lee, who liked living dangerously, remained restraint-free to move about as he pleased – much to everyone else's annoyance.

"Balancing on my thumbs," replied the lanky youth in a voice straining with effort, "If I can't hold myself up until we reach the end of this road then I have to do one thousand kicks instead!"

"Not in here you won't," Kiba objected as Lee's other outstretched leg hit him in the shoulder. "C'mon, cut it out!"

"Are we gonna stop for lunch, Shikamaru," asked Chouji hopefully.

"Well, I thought we'd wait until we reached Waves Country – we're kind of on a schedule."

"What will we be doing in Waves Country," Shino asked.

"Not really sure," replied Shikamaru, "We're supposed to meet up with a representative once we get there and he'll give us some more details."

"I feel all important like an ambassador," said Kiba, "do you think we'll get the royal treatment?"

"Whatever! Last time I was in Waves Country it was pretty much a slum," Naruto pshawed.

Chouji looked disappointedly at Shikamaru, "What a waste of time! Why would the hokage send us to a place where the people can't even afford to pay for any decent missions?"

His best friend shrugged, "They've got to be doing a little better these days; besides, I've heard they built a resort out there and it's becoming a pretty big tourist attraction. We'll probably see lots of people from other countries there too."

"Dang it Lee – stay on your own side!"

"Hey, don't shove!"

"Boys," the team leader said, adjusting the rearview mirror to glare back at them, "don't make me turn this wagon around and go back to Konoha; I'm not kidding around here!"

There was silence then until they reached the highway a short time later. Unfortunately, just as the car turned off, they hit a large pothole so that Lee lost his balance and nearly broke his thumbs.

000

By the time they finally reached the border of Waves Country three and a half hours later, all seven of them were feeling restless and eager to stretch their legs. Shikamaru, meanwhile, was silently wondering why he'd so blithely allowed them all to come along in the first place. While Lee and Naruto played a very noisy and violent game of punch-buggy in the backseat to pass the time, Shino was busy grousing at Kiba for sticking his feet over the seat and out of the other boy's window. Shikamaru had failed to take into account the tight sitting quarters for six people and one very large hound – even in what was technically a nine-seater.

Suddenly Naruto sprang up out of the seat and dove between Shikamaru and Chouji for what felt like the seventy-seventh time since they started out. "L-look you guys – check it out! That's my bridge – that's Naruto's bridge!" The approaching landmark indeed bore the jump-suit wearing shinobi's name in large letters over it's elaborate façade, but the loud-mouth had already described the structure so many times to them that nobody really cared anymore.

Waves Country was certainly a far cry from the slum that Naruto had remembered from his last visit. The numerous buildings springing up along a broad thoroughfare included hotels, restaurants, banks, and just about any type of shop imaginable. Pedestrians crowded the streets, many carrying purchases or talking on cell phones, tourists sped by on mopeds. Naruto, was agog at the hustle and bustle, "I can't believe this is even the same town," he sputtered.

"Just don't press your face against the glass like that," Shikamaru told him irritably.

Heading in the direction of the coastline, Shikamaru scanned the area for the beachside resort where they were scheduled to meet their representative for the Waves Country. Presently a very large hotel came into view – its sign proclaiming it the "Waves Resort".

Chouji's small eyes widened as he turned disbelievingly to his best friend, "Is that where we're staying?"

"That looks like the kind of place where you have to get reservations months in advance," Shino remarked quietly, though a hint of awe came through on his normally expressionless voice.

"Our guy here is taking care of everything – including our accommodations," informed Shikamaru with satisfaction.

"I think I could stay here," Kiba shrugged to Akamaru who replied with a thunderous bark. Everyone agreed.

The man who met them in the lobby was a short, wiry forty-something-year-old with salt and pepper hair and thick glasses. He smiled delightedly when he saw them enter, though as far as Shikamaru knew he'd had no prior knowledge of their number or appearances – still the boy conceded that it wasn't too usual to see six teen boys with wraps and head protectors and their monster-sized dogs wandering into a place like this.

"Welcome, you must be the ninja from Konoha! Exellent – you're all young and handsome too! (The boys exchanged rather nervous looks at this statement) I'm Hashimoto Hiroshi, owner of the Waves Resort, and I'll be accommodating you while you're here," his amplified eyes scanned the young group eagerly, coming to rest at last on Akamaru who cocked his head inquiringly back up at the business man.

"Look at him; what an amazing dog! I love enormous dogs!" He leaned down close enough to let the large hound lick him repeatedly in the face while he scrubbed Akamaru behind the ears and talked babyishly to him. The others stared on in varying degrees of shock and amusement. Kiba looked like he might throw up.

At last Shikamaru ventured to interrupt the painfully tender moment. "Sooo… what exactly do we have planned on the agenda for tomorrow?"

Hashimoto looked up as if startled to find them still there. His enormous eyes widened even farther behind his thick lenses as he suddenly returned to the present. "Of course, of course; I still need to explain to you boys what you'll be doing while here, but first let me show you to your quarters!"

The six shinobi exchanged guarded looks, but followed the diminutive man into the elevator which took them up to the top floor. "This is our presidential suite –" Hashimoto informed as they stepped out of the elevator door and into a lavish pent house. A stretch of windows looked out over the beach in the grand living room which contained a plasma TV and full stereo system. Off to the side, a fully stocked kitchen area beaconed Akamichi Chouji who quickly heeded the call. Lee, meanwhile, ran off to inspect the rest of the rooms.

"Help yourself, everything is complementary, of course," Hashimoto added. Needing no further encouragement, Naruto, Kiba and Akamaru ran to join their hungry comrade.

"Oooh! A Jacuzzi tub – and a sauna," called out Lee's distant voice.

"Can I have the front desk bring up your luggage?"

"Actually," said Shikamaru in a rather dazed voice as he gazed around him, "we packed pretty light," he held up the drawstring bag into which he'd swiftly crammed all of his clothes and toiletries before the trip, without taking his eyes off the elaborate room.

Shino turned expectantly to their host. "You were going to tell us what our orders are?"

"Yes, that's right," Hashimoto reached into his coat pocket and thrust an itinerary into Shikamaru's hands. "Well I'll let you …ah… unpack and relax for a little while, and I'll see you again tonight! I'd like to start the auction at around seven if that's okay with everyone." Without waiting for a reply, the little man strode back into the elevator and left them gazing at the sheet of paper he'd left.

"The what," asked Shino belatedly to the closed door.

000

"Mr. Hashimoto, I'm not sure that this schedule you gave us is exactly what the Hokage had in mind when she sent us out here," began Shikamaru as the team sat with the older gentleman three hours later.

Hashimoto turned his owlish eyes bemusedly on the pony-tailed shinobi. "Is that so? I was convinced that this would be exactly what your Hokage would have you do – after all you'll get to introduce yourselves to the community, complete some other minor tasks (granted it's all pro-bono)…"

"Actually," cut in Shino, "I believe what Shikamaru is trying to say is that it isn't so much the tasks that are the problem, it's the way in which they're being executed."

"I'm not sure what you mean," smiled the older man in bewilderment.

"Well, for instance," said Shikamaru, he held the itinerary up to his face as he referred to it, "The coupons…"

"Are you referring to the 'buy one mission and get your next one half off' deal?"

"Uh, yeah, that one…"

"Hey, that sounds like a really good idea," exclaimed Naruto, "Did you just think that up on your own?"

Hashimoto beamed, "Why yes, thank you; I thought it was pretty cleaver myself."

Shino and Shikamaru exchanged exasperated looks.

"They're only suggestions," the business man sighed, "you don't have to do anything you don't want to, of course…In that case, I don't suppose you'd be interested in the bachelor auction either – which is a shame because so many lovely young women have signed up for it already. They all seemed very excited at the prospect of bidding for dates with all of you."

"Say what now," cut in Naruto.

"You mean there're actually mases of 'lovely young women' waiting to bid on us," demanded Chouji a bit breathlessly.

"Yes, right here in this hotel."

"Shikamaru," muttered the Akamichi out of the side of his mouth, "there are some _hot_ girls here; I saw several in the lobby and they were totally checking us out!"

"Well," sighed Shikamaru to the hotel owner, "even though it's a big inconvenience, not to mention a little degrading, I guess we have no choice but to go through with it if you've already promised us to all of these women."

"The plans were only tentatively made," the businessman assured, "I could easily cancel the whole thing if it's not to your liking…I know, how about a speech instead and then we can have a raffle to see what kind of random work you could do for free?"

"No, no! That won't be necessary," Shikamaru grabbed the man's sleeve as he made to stand up. "We'll do the auction."

"Yay," squealed Chouji.

000

Kiba took the stage to many feminine howls of approval which only increased the swagger of the already confident youth. Over the shouts and whistles of the crowd gathered outside the resort a woman's voice came over the loud speaker introducing 'Inuzuka Kiba', "he loves Frisbee and running on the beach… we'll start the bidding at 10,000 Ryo. Do I hear 10,000?" Kiba shrugged off his jacket (which in this humid climate he really hadn't needed in the first place, but it gave him more clothes to shed) and tossed it over his shoulder as someone shouted "10,000".

"Aright I hear '10,000' – what about 15,000?" Kiba revealed his pointed teeth in a wicked grin.

"Fifteen hundred," cried another.

"Two thousand" chimed a third.

"Take your shirt off," suggested yet another and the young man readily complied to the chorus of much immature whooping and hollering.

Standing off to the side of the stage awaiting their respective turns, the other boys muttered to one another at having to follow his act. "Now he's just show-boating," griped Lee as Kiba performed a hand stand to shouts of "five thousand," "Seventy five!" "That's nothing – I could walk on my hands for the duration of my date… Hey! Maybe I_ should_ try going through the whole date while walking on my hands! Don't you think that would be amazing, guys?"

"Not really," said Chouji, eying him.

"That would be uber creepy, Lee," Naruto agreed, "Not that it matters anyway, 'cause I'll still end up going for the highest price – believe it!"

"Man, what a drag having to go after this guy," returned Shikamaru with his own catchphrase while staring out at the spectacle on stage, "I only hope that following Lee makes me look a little more desirable…yeah; by the way, I think you should definitely walk out on your hands, Lee!"

"Stop trying to sabotage the auction, Shikamaru," admonished Shino.

After Kiba was finally snatched up for a respectable 295,000 Ryo, it was Shino's turn to take the stage next.

"Here we have Aburame Shino," the announcer was saying, "whose favorite thing is collecting bugs," as if on cue, a small cluster of insects crawled out from under his collar and marched single file over the hills of his face. Low mummers and noises of disgust came from the largely female crowd; Shikamaru thought he heard someone mutter 'infestation'. Shino himself continued standing motionless in the middle of the platform, but the bugs if anything appeared to grow more agitated.

"Do I hear 10,000 – anyone 10,000 for this tall, dark and handsome…did I mention he's also in line to become leader of his clan someday?"

"10,000," said a surly-looking woman near the front.

"…Alright, do I hear 20,000 – anyone 20,000?"

"No one's bidding," muttered Chouji anxiously into Shikamaru's ear.

The other boy glanced furtively at Shino who remained standing in the center of the lit up stage like the main attraction at a side show. The introverted shinobi's discomfort was almost palpable; he had no more idea how to work a crowd than Kiba knew how to properly identify the body structure of a common hexapod.

"Oh, oh, 20,000," cried a shrill voice suddenly. The shinobi all turned to see a very busty and attractive blonde girl bouncing excitedly in the crowd.

"Make that 30,000," shouted another girl several feet away who looked like she could be the other's twin sister, "he's dreamy!'

"35,000," bellowed the surly woman near the front.

"Make that 45,000," one of the blonde girls sang out.

Several other women began to look around uncertainly. "50,000," offered someone.

Soon the bidding picked up and Shino's price grew steadily higher.

"300,000 going once, going twice…"

"40,000!"

"Sold – one Aburame Shino for 40,000 Ryo."

The pair of blonde girls who'd primarily led the bidding along disappeared abruptly in identical puffs of smoke. Shikamaru shot Naruto a look and the yellow-haired boy grinned back mischievously and shrugged, "At least he's making us more money this way, right?"

The team leader gave a snort, "Yeah, but he still ended up with that scary-looking broad who bid first."

Coming up to claim her prize, the gruff-faced woman, who stood half a head taller than Shino and was at least five years older, placed a large hand on the hooded boy's shoulder and guided him down with her. The sight gave the rest a grim feeling, but there was little time to dwell on Shino's fate as the bidding quickly started back up once again for Lee who, as promised, indeed worked out his moves while standing on his hands the entire time. He ended up with a very excitable-looking brunette girl who seemed not to mind that her green-clad date was still on his hands as she appeared especially preoccupied with staring at the ninja teen's backside.

Shikamaru took his turn next. He wasn't sure what to expect as he had nothing particularly impressive or even creepy to offer to the ladies, just sarcasm (and a really cool car) he smugly reminded himself. He walked out onto stage after hearing his name and slouched indolently before the crowd of females, his eyes scanning the sea of faces staring back up at him. One girl in particular, a sandy-haired teen sporting a white sundress, smiled alluringly up at him with dark emerald eyes and Shikamaru inexplicably found himself grinning back.

Feeling like an idiot, the chunin did his best to play to the rowdy rabble below. He'd always promised himself that he'd never follow in his whipped father's footsteps, but all his years of being on the same team with Yamanaka Ino had left him perpetually intimidated by women. Still, his eye kept straying to the girl in the front row with the sundress – he hoped she'd continue to bid on him; much to his satisfaction, she did.

"Only 100,000 Ryo? Geez, that's pathetic," whined the spiky haired shinobi to his date as the two met up where the other three couples stood waiting for the end of the bachelor auction.

"I'm sure the rest of those heifers have no idea what they're missing anyway," beamed the petite white-garbed girl as she intertwined her fingers in his, causing his face to heat up.

Naruto currently performed a combination runway walk and striptease. His antics did much to stir up the already overly lusty crowd which continued to scream over itself bid after bid. Once the price had risen to 450,000 Ryo, it appeared the blonde ninja would finally belong to a very well pleased girl of about seventeen. However, the jinchuuriki wasn't satisfied yet.

"Guy on guy technique," he crowed. With a blast of smoke, two familiar figures were standing where Naruto had been. Kakashi and Iruka Sensei held one another in a naked embrace in the middle of the stage.

"Oh God – my eyessss," wailed Kiba as if burned by acid.

Loosing his balance, Lee fell off his hands and accidentally kicked his date in the mouth.

"You bastard," Shikamaru shouted angrily while struggling to keep his lunch down. Looking over in surprise he realized his date had shouted at exactly the same time he had and looked nearly as put out as he felt. He frowned skeptically; _what gives,_ _I've never met a girl who wasn't at least secretly pervy enough to find that attractive_.

Naurto was finally snatched up for a ridiculous (thought Shikamaru) 500,000 Ryo by a very fashionable-looking young woman with dark brunet hair. Both appeared very pleased with the arrangement.

Chouji belatedly took the stage, smiling shyly at as many females as he had probably ever seen at one time all gazing back at him. By some small miracle, the Akamichi managed to keep his quivering legs steady enough so that he didn't topple forward into the crowd and possibly flatten anyone. He continued to wave uncertainly to his fans as the auctioneer called out each bid, the stupid grin never leaving his face. When a curvy redhead pranced over to his side some ten minutes later he finally released the breath he'd been holding for the entire time.

The time immediately following the auction most of the guys spent getting to know their companions for the evening. Shikamaru turned once again to his date who winked slyly at him and he realized something about her was strangely familiar.

The girl obligingly slid her hand around his arm.

"So what did you say your name was" asked Shikamaru.

"Aiko" she smiled widely. Inexplicably, the grin made the hair on the back of his neck prickle for a moment. "So where are you going to take me," she asked, cutting through his thoughts while suddenly leaning heavily against his shoulder.

The spiky-haired boy thought for a moment, "Well, um, I don't really know many places here in Waves Country, but we could probably find somewhere nice to eat."

"…Oh."

The shinobi shot her an uncertain glance, "I-Is that okay with you?"

"Well, I was just thinking that it would be nice if we could get a little further away from the city." She ran the finger of her free hand idly down the front of his chunin vest, "maybe we could have a nice quiet dinner out on the beach and see where things go from there – sound good to you?"

Shikamaru swallowed, "Uh yeah, I guess we could also do that."

"Should we hail a cab then?"

"Actually, that won't be necessary," Shikamaru said, finally finding his confidence, "I already have a satisfactory means of conveyance."


	5. Chapter 5

A quick stop and several minutes later and the couple pulled up to the beachside with a bag of hamburgers. After locking up the car, the two of them decided to take their food over to a nearby pick nick table.

Aiko opened her not so dainty mouth wide and took a huge bite of her hamburger, a large onion dangling from the corner of her lips. Shikamaru looked on with a mixture of fascination and disgust; this girl definitely reminded him of someone – but whom?

"Um, so you don't mind too much that we just picked up some fast food?" Shikamaru hadn't been on many real dates before, but he could easily imagine what Ino's reaction would be in this situation: _'cheapskate – where do you keep all your taste, in your ass?'_ Actually she might have already said something along those lines to him at some point – he couldn't be sure as all her rants began to run together after so long.

"Its fine," Aiko managed around her large mouthful, "I'm just starving!"

The boy eyed her slight figure warily – Ino would have fainted at the thought of inhaling a fried burger dripping with mayo and all the toppings, but Aiko seemed completely unconcerned for her highly desired body shape. _'A woman after Chouji's own heart,' _he smirked to himself as she reached over to snatch a few of his fries.

"So did you want to go on the beach," he asked after they'd finished their meal.

"Sure, that'd be great."

The coastal breeze was strong and the waves choppy. Shikamaru shivered as the cold water sloshed against his bare legs, soaking the cuffs of his rolled up pants. A giddy feeling of anticipation rolled around with the cheeseburger in his stomach. He wondered what he should do now that they were here. Should he try small talk or allow her to take the lead? Walking beside him, Aiko remained agonizingly quiet as she gazed out at the horizon.

"Hey," he turned toward her abruptly, "What made want to bid on me anyway?"

She gave him a startled look, "What kind of question was that all of a sudden?"

Shikamaru shrugged half heartedly, "Well, I've never been the one to get any special attention from girls before so I was just wondering what caught your eye about me in the first place."

To his surprise she began to laugh, "Oh Shiky-poo, you don't give yourself enough credit." She then reached over and hugged him tightly around the waist.

"Oops, you know what," the girl suddenly pulled away to look at him, "I think I need to go powder my nose; I'll be right back." Without further hesitation she turned and began trotting in a very prissy manner toward the boardwalk.

"Wait just a minute," Shikamru called after her.

She turned back hesitantly, a frown on her delicate face, "Yes? What is it?"

"I was just wondering if I could have my keys back or if there's some reason why you need to take them to the toilet with you."

The shocked expression on her countenance quickly dissolved into apparent bewilderment. "Wh- what?"

The ninja strode casually toward her, "those keys that you just pulled from my pocket, _Aiko_ – or should I call you Kankuro?"

The young woman's scowl vanished in a puff of smoke only to be replaced by an equally angry purple-streaked face. "Heh, so you managed to figure out it was me?"

"It wasn't that difficult; there aren't too many girls who reek of Axe."

The jounin scowled, giving his underarms a quick snort, "Man, this stuff does last a long time!

"However, be that as it may, I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist that you back off. You broke our agreement I hope you realize."

"What are you talking about?"

"Come on wiz-kid," shouted Kankuro, "don't play with me – we agreed that we'd let the other know before we drove the car anywhere. And if that weren't bad enough, you took her out on her virgin trip _without me_! You and a bunch of Leaf-geeks took _my _car before I could so much as sit in the driver's seat for more than five consecutive minutes!"

"Calm down," Shikamaru told him," It's just as much my car as it is yours; besides, it was on short notice. I really didn't think you'd be so dramatic about it."

"…Didn't think…_dramatic?_" The sand-nin's sputtering purple lips searched for words that could fully express his outrage. "'Just as much yours'- my Aunt Fanny! More than half of the parts on that wagon came from me; if anything, it's more mine!"

Shikamaru was beginning to feel his own sluggish ire rise, "Hey, don't forget that I'm the one who's got the most hours under the hood – not to mention that it belonged to my uncle in the first place."

"So what? It'd still be rusting in that garage right now if it weren't for me!"

The ninja glared one another down challengingly. Kankuro's fingers slid toward his scrolls as he eyed Shikamaru's increasingly lengthening shadow. Within moments the battle was on.

Kankuro leapt back in order to dodge being ensnared by Shikamaru's shadow, simultaneously producing his scrolls and spreading them out over the sand. The dreaded puppet trio appeared in rapid succession, Karasu, Sanshouuo and Kuroari each springing into action. Karasu flew toward the chunin who quickly dove for a sand dune to avoid being nailed by poison-tipped projectiles.

The pony-tailed shinobi had the fortunate advantage of many pits and clumps of sea grass that cast excellent shadows. Leap-frogging from one shady patch to another, his justsu was soon within striking range. Noticing the fattening shadow spreading toward him, the puppeteer countered with a full-out barrage of flying blades courtesy of "Crow".

Sikamaru's shadow instantly forked in all directions, attaching to and throwing the deadly missiles off course enough to avoid their impact. The enormous salamander puppet had meanwhile blasted apart his hiding place, leaving him exposed and vulnerable.

"Ugh!" Each combatant danced about in desperate attempt to avoid capture by the other while throwing all they had at their opponent. The struggle went on for some minutes more before Kankuro finally slipped up and found himself incased within the shadow-user's shady clutches.

"Damn it," he bit out as he found his fingers clenching into involuntary fists. Immediately, his puppets crumpled harmlessly to the sand and he was left standing with his arms rigidly at his sides before the Nara.

Shikamaru took as step forward. The movement was simultaneously aped by the sand-nin. Smirking, the chunin made as if to reach into his own pocket and watched Kankuro dutifully dig out a set of keys which he held out his captor. The two boys walked toward one another, the puppet master straining hopelessly against the jutsu the closer he got to Shikamaru's outstretched hand.

"I'll just be taking these back now, thank you…" The shadow-manipulator frowned, "Sticking your tongue out at me: that's really mature."

Something suddenly made the hairs on the back of Shikamaru's neck stand up; he ducked down just in time to avoid being taken out by a colossal wooden tail from behind. Instead a foot came down upon his prone body, digging iron claws into his back and pinning him in place.

"Wh-what the…" he gasped.

Kankuro grinned wickedly down at him around his still protruding tongue and the chunin immediately noticed the fine chakra thread extending from its end.

"You can even use your _tongue _to control your puppets?"

"Uah, uhs ight," he grunted, transferring manipulation back to his now freed hands, "I can use my fingers, toes, tongue – and other things…"

Shikamaru gave a shudder, "Ew, please shut up."

The jounin chuckled as he re-pocketed the purloined keys, "Well, I'll leave you to play with Sanshouuo a little bit longer – thanks for taking such good care of my wheels by the way. Later!"

Kankuro flickered away, however the giant puppet on top of Shikamaru did not release him. The chunin struggled to free his pinned arms to no avail.

From the direction of the parking lot, the bound ninja heard the engine turn over and the puppets surrounding him suddenly go limp before disappearing, on cue, in triple puffs of smoke.

Shikamaru attempted to stand only to find he was bound head to toe by wire; he loudly cursed all kugutsu-users and invoked a plague of termites on every one of Kankuro's puppets in turn. He was in mid tirade when something round and flat collided sharply with the bridge of his nose effectively cutting him off.

"_Awruf!_"

"Hey Akamaru, wait for us!"

The bound chunin glared up through eyes bleary with tears of pain as the large hound trotted over to him. Akamaru gave a concerned whimper, sniffing the cord wound around Shikamaru.

"Hey boy, what's – whoa Shikamaru! What the hell happened?" Kiba came skidding across the sand over to where the team captain lay. Behind him, his date was clinging to his back for dear life like a baby monkey would to its mother.

"It's Kankuro – he just made off with the station wagon!"

"He _what_? That skuzzy little punk!" His date still holding him around the neck, Kiba immediately turned to race off.

"Kiba wait!"

"Oops, sorry Shika," he leapt back over and hastily started breaking the wires off his companion. "Now come on, let's go; we can't let him get away!"

"What about her," insisted Shikamaru, indicating the girl on his back.

Kiba looked back at her, "Oh yeah, I guess she can't just ride piggy-back the whole way with us can she."

"Aw, but Kiba-kun," protested the girl.

"Don't worry, Chinatsu – you can ride on Akamaru instead!" He carefully set the girl on the ninja-dog's back before turning again to Shikamaru, "Okay, now let's hurry up and catch that low life!"

000

Kankuro thanked the gods of the open road that automobiles were still relatively scarce in the land of waves so he had no congested traffic to contend with as he made his quick getaway. He decided it likely that he would soon find himself followed – no chord could hold that cheeky Nara-bastard for too long; he'd figure out a way to get out and would no doubt be hot on the sand-nin's trail in no time. For this reason, he kept Karasu riding shotgun – the puppet stared woodenly (ha ha) out the passenger side mirror for anything amiss.

An inexplicable surge of adrenaline coursed through his veins as he saw the approaching bridge leading out of Waves. The realization that soon he would have his baby safely in Suna and all to himself hit him full force, making goose flesh stand up on his arms. Stomping down on the gas, Kankuro gunned it for the bridge.

A flash of something from his peripheral and Kankuro's glance darted to his side mirror. Whatever he thought he'd seen was no longer there. The teen tried to shake his feeling of paranoia and instead gave it even more gas as he hit the bridge; he needed to get as much space between himself and the Konoha chunins as possible.

A few moments passed and he had just allowed himself a deep, calming breath when the heavy thud of something large collapsing onto his roof nearly caused him to careen over the rail of the bridge. The vehicle swerved, fishtailing wildly. Kankuro did his best to regain control of the automobile while sparks flew as the driver's side scraped against the guard rail before coming to a loud halt – the jounin swore.

Before he could even straighten the wheel and hit reverse, he was suddenly staring into an up-side-down muzzle growling at him from the opposite side of the glass. Kankuro's attention jerked toward the puppet seated beside him, but to use kugutsu now would mean having to roll down the window.

Akamaru barked fiercely into the windshield, fogging the glass with his hot breath. An idea suddenly came to Kankuro; it wasn't called a ninja wagon for nothing. The puppet master, whose own hands had fashioned so many of the vehicle's 'special features' clicked on the windshield wipers with a dark grin. A pair of hidden sinbon shot out of the blades at the nin-dog who yelped in surprise and pain as one of them buried itself in the side of his muzzle.

"_Akamaruuuuu!_" _Thud!_

The roof vibrated with the weight of another body landing heavily on top. "Get ready you Sand-bastard, I'm comin' in there!" Taking heed, the jounin readied himself for an attack.

"Kiba wait," he could suddenly hear Shikamaru call from a distance. The third, winded ninja made his wayto them "Don't do anything to hurt the car!"

Seizing the opportunity, Kankuro jumped out the passenger side and, side-stepping the fanged chunin, went to inspect the ugly scrape down the paint job. He ground his teeth together as Shikamaru promptly arrived next to him, looking on with equal dismay at the mess.

"Hey, you alright," Kiba helped his date down from the roof of the station wagon.

"Yeah, that was fun!"

Satisfied, the Inuzuka immediately rounded on Kankuro, "What the hell did you just shoot Akamaru with – that better not have been poison-tipped!"

"No it wasn't," the jounin answered without looking up, "unfortunately…"

"You just watch it, face paint!"snarled Kiba, but Kankuro wasn't listening.

"That does it," the sand-nin announced instead, looking abruptly at Shikamaru, "you obviously can't be trusted with an antique automobile like this, so I'm coming along on your pathetic mission to keep an eye on you."

"_What_," the chunin's eyes nearly popped out of his head, "If _you_ hadn't tried to steal it in the first place we wouldn't even have this problem!"

"I wouldn't have had to if _you_ didn't steal it first."

"Well there's no way you're coming with us! I'll bet you're a spy sent by Suna!"

"Stay out of it, dog-breath…"

"You can't talk to Kiba–kun like that!"

"Oh yeah, watch me, baby-cakes."

Kiba flew to his date's defense just as Shikamaru decided to intervene, "Alright, everyone just calm down!" He inserted himself firmly between the two hot-headed shinobi, "this mission is enough of a pain without having to deal with a custody war. Kankuro, would letting you come along resolve this dispute?"

"You've got to be kidding," groaned Kiba, "you can't be thinking of letting him come along." Once again, however, he found himself nonexistent to the two transacting teens.

"Also, _I _drive from now on," put in Kankuro.

Shikamaru grunted noncommittally, "Yeah, we'll see; maybe we can take turns..."

"Damn-straight!"

Kiba and Akamaru exchanged disgruntled looks as if to say, '_it's going to be a looong trip'_.


	6. Chapter 6

_I have finally updated once again!!!_

_The next morning…_

Kiba shuffled past the bay windows opening on the beachside to the spacious kitchen which was much nicer than his kitchen back home. He caught a whiff of something as he passed by his long time teammate that caused him to pause. Shino, who was sorting his dirty clothes at the washing machine, cocked an eyebrow at the other member of team eight, "What is it?"

The Inuzuka drew in another deep sniff, "Phew! Why do you smell so fishy?"

"They're the clothes I wore yesterday," his friend pointed at the dark pile of material sitting beside him on the washer. He frowned through his shades as he measured out the precise amount of detergent, "because – we were out on a boat…bass fishing."

Kiba did his best to stifle a snort," You went fishing – on a date? Are you telling me she spent all that money on you and all the two of you did was fish?"

"Yes," Shino's shades glinted dangerously in the florescent lighting as he stared down the other chunin.

"Oh, okay – that's great," Kiba edged past him and began to rummage through the pantry for some breakfast, "nothing wrong with that at all – fishing can be really…relaxing."

A loud shout followed by a heavy thud suddenly jerked their attention over to the bedrooms. A moment later Naruto came stumbling out with is foot in his hands.

"Who left a bunch of scrolls lying on the floor by my door," he demanded as he hopped toward them. Kiba and Shino stared blankly back at him.

Letting out a long yawn, Chouji shuffled blearily past the irate blonde on his way to the couch. "Hey guys, what's all the noise about?"

"Hey Chouji I just tripped over your scrolls and stubbed my toe!"

The plump boy blinked sleepily at Naruto, "huh?"

"Those weren't Chouji's, dingus," sighed Kiba.

"Oh really," retorted Naruto, "just like this black hood with cat ears on it also isn't Chouji's," Naruto reached over and picked up a dark article of clothing from a chair and held it up.

"No," frowned Chouji in annoyance.

"So…whose stuff is this?"

As they spoke, the door to the bathroom swung open emitting the overpowering aroma of excessive body-wash followed by a wet-haired, half-naked Kankuro.

"Wow, I don't think I've had that much sand lodged in my crevices since my brother sand-coffined me for decapitating his Teddy Ruxpin when we were kids."

"What? When did _you_ get here," demanded a perplexed Naruto.

"Last night – I wasn't doing anything too important so I decided I'd come along and help you guys out," the jounin replied, adjusting his towel.

The yellow haired boy turned to his fellow leaf-nin for an explanation.

"Don't look at me," groused Kiba, "I was totally against this decision from the start; it was Shika's idea to drag him along!"

"You should thank me for the nice little vacation you're getting," pointed out Kankuro, "if it weren't for my ingenuity and automotive knowledge you wouldn't be riding in such style in the first place – so get over it 'cause I'm stickin' around."

000

The day was filled with minor missions from the locals of Waves, the likes of which most of them hadn't performed since their time as genins; everything was pro-bono of course. Kankuro did not participate, but felt the need to complain all the same about how pointless and demeaning the tasks were: was this an example of how high an opinion the Hokage had for her 'elite' chunin? Kiba smothered the urge to snap the bastard's neck.

Gradually they completed the assignment to the general appreciation of the citizens involved and Shikamaru thanked the owner of the Waves resort for his hospitality, then it was time to move out once again; their next destination: Tea Country.

Kankuro had managed to elbow his way into the driver's seat after all and Shikamaru sat resignedly beside him on the passenger side. Chouji, meanwhile, squeezed in the back with Kiba and Akamaru. Supposedly Shikamaru was now navigator, but if the Jounin driving was interested in the course the leaf ninja had thoroughly and anally planned out before they'd set off he made no indication. The sand shinobi was instead busy spinning the dial of the radio as he examined his teeth in the rearview mirror.

"Hey, didn't you hear me say to take the next exit?"

The substitute driver shrugged dispassionately, "Yeah, I just didn't feel like it."

"Well sorry if it sounded like I was giving you an option; what I meant to say was: I'm the squad leader and, whether you feel like it or not, take the next exit. There, is that clearer?"

"Well A: you're not _my _squad leader,B, I outrank you, and three, I'm the one behind the wheel and I'm not in any hurry to get to Tea – how's_ that_ for clear?"

"You know," Kiba yelled "some of us are actually trying to do our job, and since you're not even a part of this group I don't see where your opinion comes into play at all." Chouji and a couple of the others muttered in agreement.

"Alright, alright," the jounin took his hands off the wheel and held them up in a placating manner, "I see your point – look just because I'm not a leaf-nin doesn't mean we aren't allies after all. The last thing I wanna do is keep you from completing your mission, but there's no reason why I can't try and make it as pleasant an experience as possible." His glance fell just then upon a road sign advertising a diner at the following exit and the jounin turned again to Shikamaru, "Hey, how about I make it up to you by treating you guys to lunch?"

"That's really not necessary," waved off the chunin.

"Uh, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea," spoke up Chouji hastily. (It was virtually unthinkable in the Akamichi clan to pass up a gift of food – but because most people from Konoha knew far better than to offer, an actual 'free lunch' was an especially elusive treat.)

"Well it _is _almost time to eat," piped up Naruto trying to suppress his own enthusiasm; there were a few other grunts of approval.

Needing no further encouragement, Kankuro charged the station wagon onto the exit ramp, "Alright, it's settled then!"

000

The Akamichi's hungry eyes perused the menu; "I think I'd like one of each of your lunch specials," he told the server – a young twenty-year-old brunette girl, "and the soup du jour."

"Two bowls of curry, please," Lee ordered happily.

Kiba scanned the dinner menu looking for the most expensive item, "I'll have the lobster."

"That sounds pretty good," said Naruto, "I'll take two of those."

"Salad bar," said Shino simply.

From the corner of his eye Shikamaru could see Kankuro scowling and he silently smirked to himself. He was just going to get a bowl of soup but now thought he might like a little more after all. "Bring me the Kobe steak, please."

The waitress, who was now smiling very brightly, asked them if they needed anything else before scurrying off to place the order. Obviously, she thought, if she played her cards right there would be a nice, fat tip for her when everything was all over.

Indeed it was a feast for the seven shinobi; even Chouji had his work cut out for him. Dutifully, the waitress came by to refill their drinks and see how the meal was every fifteen minutes or so.

"I'm gonna need to order a rack of ribs, a second lobster and a banana-split sundae - to go - for my dog," Kiba told her; he grinned benevolently over at Kankuro as he spoke.

"Sure thing," beamed the server, "I'll just be right back with your check."

Shikamaru turned to Kankuro at last, "Alright, you've been awfully quiet this whole time, you must be thinking something about now; you do realize how high that bill's going to be."

The puppeteer shrugged. "I'm not too worried about it – I get the 'back door' discount."

"Shikamaru, are you going to eat the rest of that," butted in Chouji before the Nara could ask the sand ninja what he meant.

"Yeah," he abruptly answered his disappointed friend then immediately turned back only to find Kankuro missing from his seat. Instinctively, the chunin felt his pocket for his keys – they too were absent. He suddenly felt as if he'd had ice water thrown on him.

Shikamaru swore quietly even as the server was placing their bill on the table. Outside he was sure he could hear the V8 engine burst into life and roar straight out of the parking lot. Shikamaru waited impatiently for the waitress to retreat from the table before gesturing hurriedly to the other guys, "I think that bastard Kankuro has ditched us."

"_What_," shouted Kiba and Naruto in unison.

Shino, meanwhile, cautiously peeked inside the little black book containing their receipt and winced, quickly shutting it again.

Leaping from the table, Lee ran to the window, "You're right; he's gone!"

"We have to go after him," barked Kiba, standing up. "Akamaru was in the car; who knows what he's done to him!"

"It's strange though," remarked Shino, "if Akamaru was waiting in the car it shouldn't have been so easy for Kankuro to just steal it like that."

Shikamaru shrugged, "Well who knows what kind of jutsu he might have put on him first; the point is he's gone now and we as representatives of Konoha have no choice but to suck it up and pay our bill."

"But that's basically all the money we've got," gawked Chouji, holding up the bill, "…for the entire mission!"

"Granny'll kill us!"

"What'd I tell you," exclaimed Kiba dramatically slamming his fist down on the table, "that first-class douche hat played us like chumps the first chance he got!"

"I know, I know: this is getting extremely tiresome."

"Is everything okay, sirs?" The group turned to see their server standing by the table wearing a strained smile. Several of the restaurant patrons were also looking uneasily in their direction.

Shikamaru replied immediately in a calm, dignified manner, "Yes, definitely – could we get some more water, please?"

When the waitress had left the leaf ninjas quickly began pooling together their funds. "We may have to dip into the Waves Country earnings," cringed Shikamaru. He silently wondered if he could haggle some kind of discount out of the restaurant or that maybe they'd be able to get away after washing a few dishes. A small part of him, the most basic and irresponsible core of his being, whined that they should all just split in the same way as their sand companion and let the unfortunate business deal with the loss, but the fit soon passed and the chunin returned to his senses.

When all was said and done they were just shy of the total. Shikamaru was getting ready to begin bargaining when, all of a sudden, Kankuro came strolling back in through the front door. Without a word he walked over to the table full of stunned people, picked up the ticket book and shoved a neat stack of cash into the holder before handing it over to the waiting server. "Keep the change," he told her blithely. As soon as she was gone again everyone erupted.

"What the _hell_," roared Kiba.

"_Where did you go_," Naruto demanded over the top of him.

"Had to go to the bank," shrugged the puppeteer who then turned to Shikamaru, "You weren't exactly a cheap date, you know; I had to pay 10,000 yen to even go out with you."

Chouji frowned, replaying the statement in his head.

"Yeah, what did you think – that I drove off and left you," Kankuro chuckled and twirled the key ring round his finger.

Shikamaru angrily made a grab for them but the sand-nin just jerked them away, still grinning smugly. "Okay kids, time to blow this joint."

000

For the next several hours Shikamaru silently plotted out ways to be rid of the tag-along jounin as they drew gradually closer to Tea Country.

_dun dun dun!_


	7. Chapter 7

_Finally, I'm back...sorry it took so long, guys!_

000

"I now have a visual on the target – they're heading south toward Tea," A camouflaged ninja crouched in the bows of a water oak peered though his binoculars at the approaching vehicle.

"You're certain it's the right one," came the voice on the other end of his radio.

"Uh let's see, purple paint job with yellow flames – yeah I'm pretty sure it's the right one."

"Good; just don't let them out of your sight until we catch up."

"I'll see what I can do about slowing them down in the meantime."

"Just as long as you don't bring any undue attention to yourself in the process," warned the captain on the other line.

"Roger wilco," the perched shinobi replied before taking the next tree in order to keep up with the quickly approaching station wagon.

000

"Hmm, let's see," Chouji presently scrunched his already squinted face up in concentration, "well Ino has on a couple of occasions…"

"No she hasn't," objected Shikamaru sourly without taking his eyes off the road.

"Sakura could," cried Naruto, "no question about it!"

"Yosh," yelled Lee in fervent agreement.

"Well obviously Temari," put in Kankuro.

"Okay, can we just give it a rest already," the pineapple-haired driver groused loudly over his increasingly rowdy passengers.

"Oh what," sniggered Kiba, "can't handle the truth?"

Shikamaru glanced irritably over his shoulder, "you idiots should really have a little more respect for your captain."

The Inuzuka chuckled; he'd been the one to pose the challenge: _name the kunoichi who can kick Shikamaru's ass -_ which was proving to be quite a hot discussion topic.

"_Arf_" said Akamaru getting into the spirit of things as well.

"Yeah," agreed his master, "Kurenai Sensei too, of course."

"She's a high-level jounin," snapped the shadow user, "she'd just as easily kick _your_ ass and probably already has on numerous occasions."

"Fine then, Hinata," growled Kiba, ignoring Shikamau's declaration, "isn't that right, Shino?"

The bug-nin grunted noncommittally, which his teammate took as an affirmation – "see?"

But Shikamaru was now frowning for a different reason as he stared down at his gages – the 'check engine' light was on.

"Hey, does anyone else hear that knocking noise," asked Naruto.

"Great," murmured Shikamaru, pulling the car over onto the shoulder of the road, "what fresh hell is this?"

"_Punch bug_," screamed Lee as a vehicle zoomed by. Kiba, who was unfortunate enough to be the one standing closest to the taijutsu specialist, had barely enough time to block the blow which, nonetheless, sent him colliding into Naruto. The two belligerent victims took turns shouting at each other and Lee as they struggled to pick themselves up off the gravel. Kankuro side-stepped the noisy pair in order to peer over the team leader's shoulder as he inspected the damage.

"Well?"

Shikamaru let out a long-suffering sigh, "one of the rods are going to need to be replaced, but in order to do that we're going to have to find a place to take it pretty soon."

"How much time will that take," asked Kiba; having removed himself from Naruto, he elbowed past the blonde boy (while still rubbing the growing welt on his shoulder) and frowned down into the open hood along with the other two.

"Hey why don't you guys leave this to me," quickly suggested Kankuro with a shrug, "I can take care of fixing up the car while you guys go ahead with your appointment, and then I can catch back up with you when I'm finished." Shikamaru shot him a suspicious look which the painted nin returned with his most wide-eyed expression. "What? You don't trust me – what do you think I'm gonna do, steal the car? Besides, it's the best option we have isn't it?"

"Maybe we _should _go ahead," put in Lee hopefully, "then we could run the rest of the way!"

Everyone looked expectantly at Shikamaru: the spiky-headed chunin was frowning even deeper than usual as he glanced from the car to the Sand ninja.

"_Well_," demanded Kankuro impatiently, "What's the verdict already?"

"Group meeting," Kiba cut in, grabbing their leader by the arm and jerking him toward the other Leaf ninja. "_Konoha_ group meeting," he barked when Kankuro began to step forward, shooing the puppet-user away.

"Shika," hissed Kiba, "one of _us_ should stay behind instead; that guy can't be trusted any futher than _you _could throw him."

The other teenager shook his head, "It doesn't matter. I can't exactly order him to do anything; if he wants to stay and fix the car, then so be it."

"Then who's gonna keep him from just up and taking off to wherever he wants to once he's done," spoke up Naruto.

Chouji glanced over at the obsessive jounin hovering protectively around his ailing station wagon, then turned back to his best friend, "what if one of us also stayed behind to keep an eye on things?"

"Oh, let me do it," Kiba requested. Akamaru perked up at this; possibly hoping for some payback for Kankuro's casting a genjutsu on him earlier when they'd stopped to eat (he'd spent the following two hours chasing his tail because he'd thought it was a pork-chop before Kiba had finally found him still spinning in circles several miles away and had mercifully taken the spell off.)

"Hmm," Shikamaru scratched his chin thoughtfully, "well, I suppose that might not be a bad idea..." He turned to look at the expectant Inuzuka, "But do you think you can keep from killing each other?"

"Heh, we'll see," smirked the fanged boy, evilly.

000

"See you guys in Tea Country," shouted Naruto as the rest of the team headed out toward the open road on foot.

"Bye," Kiba waved back, watching the group dissappear over the hill before turning to Kankuro. "So now what," he demanded.

Kankuro, however, was not paying any attention to the chunin, instead he had his head inside the open hood and was muttering darkly under his breath.

"Hey, are you listening to me," the Inuzuka demanded louder, "I said-"

"Stuff it, beast-boy," remarked Kankuro, abruptly pulling his head out of the car's machinery and slamming the hood shut.

"What did you say," Kiba yelled, his face reddening with indignation. Kankuro, however, marched straight past the irate leaf-nin heading in the direction they'd already come from. "Where are you going?"

Kankuro whipped around to scowl at the other ninja, "Well, it looks like we're gonna need more than just a rod replacement - I'll have to replace the whole damn engine!"

"What?"

"Yeah, the whole thing's completely shot, and who knows how long that's going to take - I have to first _find_ another V8, then replace this one..."

"Sounds expensive," mused Kiba.

"Not if you know where to look," the painted ninja smirked back, "so just stay here and wait until I get back, got it?"

"Don't think you can order me around, Howdie-Doodie!"

"Fine then, do whatever you want - but if anything happens to my car while I'm gone I'm comming after you."

"Is that supposed to scare me," sniffed Kiba, striding after his companion, "besides, I could smell your rancid body spray from ten miles off."

The pair of them walked for some distance, Akamaru, loping several paces ahead, glanced back every now and then to check and see if the two boys were still behind him. Kiba and Kankuro plodded along, saying nothing for nearly an hour until, at last, Kiba broke the heavy silence between them. "So where were you thinking of getting this engine anyway?"

"We passed a town no too far back while we were driving; I'm sure if we check the right places, a replacement is bound to pop up somewhere."

Kiba huffed and crossed his arms, "Why don't we go a little faster then; I'd like to be able to meet back up with my team some time in this century - especially if you're going to have to find and replace a whole engine!"

"Sorry, am I slowing you down, champ; well, we can go faster if you'd like." Without warning, Kankuro immediately shot forward leaving the Inuzuka and his dog coughing in the wake of his dust.

"Damn you," hacked the chunin, sheilding his eyes from the dirt particles that flew into them. Akamaru let out an indignant growl. The two of them exchanged a brief look before quickly tearing after the incorrigible jounin, "I don't know what made you think you could get away with that!"

The man/dog duo soon caught up with the Sand-nin and were taking turns tag-teaming him with piercing fang. Throughout the commotion, no one noticed the shadowy figure observing them from the cluster of evergreens nearby - especially because the figure was using a very subtle genjutsu to disguise itself as just another pine tree. The mysterious ninja now peered after the noisy group that suddenly veered off toward the nearby town, "Come in, 'Togake'; I've go a 20 on the target: two kids and a dog are heading for Oka City."

"Is one of them our guy," came the other voice over the crackling radio.

"10-4."

"Terrific; just make sure they stay there until we arrive, got it?"

"10-4"

"And give it a rest with the ten-code will you?"

"...Roger, Wilco."

000

"So, you do realize that we're trespassing right?"

"Shut up; I think I've found it."

Kiba stood gazing around at the piles of scrap metal surrounding him on all sides. He glanced at Kankuro, whose legs and backside were the only parts of him visible from the rusty heap of tetanus-waiting-to-happen that he was exuberantly diving through, then over at Akamaru sitting between two heaps of crushed cars, who stared back with a bewildered expression. _"Hrrrrmmm!"_

"What are you asking me that for - there's the idiot sticking ass-first out of a pile of trash, ask _him_ why we're here."

"Almost...Almost...Got it!"

Kankuro suddenly began to wriggle around until he slowly slipped his top half out of the rubble, his hands clutching something that was still buried beneath the mound of metal. "Come on you stupid piece of crap, come loose!"

"Hrrrmm, hrm!"

At the sudden urgency in the whine, Kiba glanced sharply in his canine friend's direction. "What did you just say?"

"Not you; I was talking about _this_ piece of crap - how about helping me pull this thing out already?"

"Will you shut up; Akamaru says he senses someone's chakra nearby."

The puppet master paused in mid-tug, he frowned as his narrowed eyes shifted cautiously around, "Hmph, I don't notice anything - besides, shouldn't you be able to _smell_ any kind of enemy that might be around?"

Automatically, Kiba gave the stale junk yard air a long, decisive sniff, but indeed there was no hint of anyone else nearby besides the three of them. Something in the wind, however, did seem a bit odd - an unusually pungent aroma that, now he thought of it, had been strong in his nose since they'd veered off the highway earlier. He glanced around as well, but couldn't discern any fauna close by enough to explain the permeating smell of pine sap.

"Hmm, that's weird."

"What is," asked the jounin, carefully sliding his prize from the shifting heap of scrap-metal.

But before Kiba could tell him, his vision suddenly began to move and wobble - it was, he realized belatedly, because thousands of bubbles had appeared out of thin air and were dancing and bobbing in front of his face. Kiba made to swat them away, but they merely became thicker and more numerous. Insead of gently floating, they were now swarming around him_, _pressing against his face, trying to smother him. He was fully aware by now that he was trapped in a genjutsu, but getting out of it was proving to be far more difficult.

"Arrrgh, _kai_, damn you," growled the Inuzuka, struggling to disrupt his flow of chakra even as he chocked and gagged on the relentless miriad of soapy little spheres. "Akamaru! Where the hell are you?"

Unfortunately, the large hound was having his own problems, and every time he opened his mouth to bark a reply, he ended up inhaling a mouthful of bubbles. And lunge as he might toward Kiba, he could gain no purchase; the bubbles lifted him easily and suspended him off the ground even as they constricted the air mercilessly from his lungs.

Kankuro, his hands still grasping the piece of machinery he'd nearly liberated from the tall heap, had recognized the jutsu as soon as he'd seen the first bubbles appearing on the edge of his vision. With a low curse, the jounin focused his chakra, attempting to quickly disperse the attack before it could take full effect. The level of genjutsu was high and his own skill, average as it was, was only partially successful at melting the spell. He had to act quickly before his senses were completely posessed by the illusion. Automatically, his hand reached for a kunai.

Something was moving toward him at high speed; he couldn't see it because it came from behind, but he could _feel_ it - a sudden burst of chakra from someone very close by. Kankuro felt as if he were moving in slow motion as he spun round; the air was dense and rapidly refilling with large, obnoxious bubbles. The kunai in Kankuro's hand collided with the one plunging toward his neck, intercepting the attack a split second before it could take out his jugular vein. The Sand-nin pushed with most of his might against the other blade, allowing it to get gradually closer and closer to his neck until it was close enough to graze across his collar bone.

Kankuro inhaled sharply as the metal point sliced through his thick tunic and into his clavicle, but the small jab of pain was enough. Within a moment, the bubbles vanished and the youth leapt back onto the scrap heap, free from the confines of the genjutsu. He now took his first look at the would-be assasain scowling back up at him from the ground. The attacker was a stringy-haired man wearing camos who appeared to be in his early to mid-twenties.

"Who the hell are you," demanded Kankuro.

"Don't seem so surprised," remarked the other ninja, "you know why I'm here."

"The hell I do!" Kankuro shot a glance toward the Inuzuka and his dog who remained frozen in place where the genjutsu had captured them. Reaching into his back pouch, the dark-clad nin swiftly brought out a pair of senbon that he flung at his comrades. From the corner of his eye, he simultaneously noticed something long and thin winding toward his face. Kankuro dove to the side as the end of a whip snapped the spot where he'd been standing a moment earlier; a sizable chunk of scrap metal promptly exploded in his place.

"What the-"

The camo-wearing ninja gave another flick and sent his braided leather thong swooping through the heap of metal that now separated the pair of them, slicing it in half as neatly as a blade through ripe fruit. The mound came crashing down around Kankuro even as he scrambled to escape the falling debris and the range of his opponent's horifying weapon. He breifly wondered if Kiba and his dog had managed to avoid injury - or possibly death from the scattering shards of flying metal.

"Ow," yelped the Inuzuka as Kankuro's large needle jammed itself into the space of bare skin between the top of his shoe and where his pants ended. All at once the bubbles smothering him vanished and he could move and breathe freely once again. Standing several paces away, Akamaru gave his head a forceful shake to dislodge the senbon sticking out of his neck.

Still slightly breathless, Kiba had little time to reflect on what had happened before a deafening crack split the sky and sent great pieces of metal flying in all directions. The Inuzuka barely managed to knock the projectiles away from himself using piercing fang. Immediately, he leapt to higher ground, purching atop the junkyard's chain-link fence. Akamaru, meanwhile, had found purchase on another scrap heap at the opposite end of the enclosure while Kankuro took refuge within his massive Salamander puppet.

"You think you'll be safe from my whip cowering behind that piece of junk," scoffed camo-nin, raising his arm high to strike apart the large segmented lizard which, in turn, swung out it's long, bludgeon-like tail at the attacker's legs. The ninja leapt, his whip unfurled, but Sanshouuo's tail swipe was only a diversion for Karasu's blast of poison gas from the opposite direction, directly over the whip-weilder's head.

Covering his own nose and mouth for good measure, Kiba could hear the distinct sound of choking and coughing coming from the cloud of smoke below. From across the yard, Akamaru growled deeply, notifying his master of a trap; the Inuzuka braced himself for action. He only wished that he could safely use his nose!

The mystery attacker's appearance behind Kankuro was instant. Before Kiba could even finish opening his mouth to warn his comrade, the rogue had his braided thong wrapped around the puppet-user's torso, sending him slamming face-first into jagged metal. The Inuzuka dog and master were airborne and whirling toward the whip-weilder within another second - claws and fangs ready to rend flesh.

Everything that transpired within the next few moments was complete chaos. Kankuro's prone body suddenly transformed into 'Kuroari' whose rotund torso swung open to recieve its prey even as the man/beast attack hit the enemy ninja from behind - driving the man into the puppet's wooden cavity followed soon after by Kiba and Akamaru.

"You idiots," yelled the pupeteer from his hiding place behind a crumpled piece of aluminum sheeting. Kankuro grit his teeth at the botched capture. Kuroari was so crammed with the bodies of the two struggling ninja and the large hound, that the puppet's compartment couldn't even close - not that the Sand-nin could use the attack with his comrades in the way.

"Daaaamniiiit," came Kiba's muffled scream from somewhere within the mass of limbs and torsos spilling out of the overstuffed marionette, "get-me-outta-heeeeere!"

"You got yourself into this," shouted back Kankuro, "now shut-up and let me finish him off - then I'll deal with you and your mutt." The jounin reached into his pouch and pulled out a kunai.

Kankuro paused in his advance as he noticed how violently his puppet was shaking, "Hey, what the hell are you doing in there?"

"Okay, Akamaru, let's do it!"

"What did you just say," Kankuro lunged forward only to be thrown backward right away by an explosive blast of splinters. The puppeteer dove behind the nearest pile of scrap and looked on in horror at the small chunks of wood raining down around him. The Inuzuka and his dog stood safe and sound outside of what used to be one of his most beloved comrades. Akamaru gave himself a vigorous shake, sending bits of Kuroari up into the air.

"Nice work, Akamaru: two birds with one stone," smirked Kiba, patting dust off himself. Behind them, the enemy shinobi lay on his side, groaning and bound tightly in his own whip. The Leaf-nin turned and grabbed the handle of the weapon binding the downed attacker, giving it a hard jerk while slamming his foot down on the other ninja's head. He glanced over to grin at Kankuro, "Well that ended up working out pretty well, didn't it?"

The Suna shinobi gaped speechlessly at the pieces of his Black Ant puppet strewn about the ground. He opened and closed his mouth, but all that came out was a small sqeaking sound.

Kiba glanced over his shoulder briefly, then back at Kankuro, "Yeah, you might need to do a little repair work on your puppet - it's seen better days."

"You...do you have any idea who made that puppet," uttered Kankuro.

The Inuzuka stared back perplexed, "Huh?"

"Do you have any idea - do you? Sasori of the freakin' Red Sand_ - THAT'S WHO_!" The purple painted fighter had re-drawn his kunai and now lunged for the Leaf-nin.

Fortunately for Kiba, Akamaru intervened just in time, catching Kankuro's sleeve in his mouth and restraining him.

"Get off me you mangy mutt - I'm gonna hollow you out and turn you_ both _into puppets to replace Kuroari!"

"Aw, shut-up already," Kiba barked over him, "at least we caught him!" The Inuzuka looked back down at the captive under his shoe and smirked with satisfaction. The man beneath him smirked back and Kiba's expression immediately soured, "What are you smiling about?"

"You sure have made a poor choice in friends, kid," he grunted, turning his head as best he could in his constrained state to grin up at the youth, then glanced over to Kankuro.

"What are you talking about," both teens demanded in unison.

The bound nin's grey eyes darted to the sky while he paused in concentration. He looked back at the two boys with a defiant chuckle - "You're going to pay for what you did to Kowamote-sama."

Kiba glanced sharply at Kankuro who'd suddenly turned a shade paler as he gaped at their captive. "What did you just say?"

"Who's that," Kiba demanded.

Before any questions could be answered, however, a heavy presence had filled the air around them. They were surrounded. The Inuzukas sniffed the air apprehensively for the invisible enemy; Akamaru growled.

"Yeah," agreed his master, "I'd guess probably five of them also; damn, this isn't good!" His glare turned back on the puppeteer, "What the hell have you gotten us into?"

Kankuro's eyes darted around, his mouth felt dry as he opened it to speak, "Okay, so maybe I just got back from an assasination mission...of a yakuza boss."


	8. Chapter 8

_Well, it's been over a year since my last post...but I promised myself I would finish this story; it just takes some time to work through all the plot holes and writer's block, unfortunately. Sorry to all those still reading - I hope everyone hasn't given up on me. _

000

"Wait a minute, you whacked a mob boss," the Inuzuka growled low through clenched fangs as his eyes darted restlessly around the seemingly deserted wreckage.

From his place in the dirt, the captive assasin gave a derisive snort, "You scum really thought you could get away with what you did, eh Minami?"

"The hell are you talking to, who's Minami," Kankuro suddenly rounded on the bound whip-user.

"Drop the act already," sneered the other ninja, "I recognized you right away, and after we take care of you, we're coming for your boss next!"

"Okay, wait a minute, did you just say you _recognized _him" Kiba put a hand to his forhead, knit furiously in an effort to wrap his mind around the sudden outrageous accusation, "The guy wears a bunraku costume and purple face paint for crying out loud - _who the hell else in the world looks like that on a regular basis_?"

"The rediculous disguise didn't fool us either," maintained the captive obstinately.

"Shaddup already," Kankuro snarled at the both of them before whirling again on their captive. "You idiots shouldn't have wasted your time! I don't work for any mobster - unlike you bunch of sellouts - and frankly I really have no idea who hired me; I was just following orders from my _village_!" The puppeteer emphasized the last word with a swift kick to the mouthy ninja's head.

The sudden whoosh of five bodies simultaneously landing in a circle around the teenaged shinobi quickly shut down any further banter. Next to the Sand-nin a grim Kiba immediately hunkered into an attack stance, Akamaru backed up to his master with teeth bared.

Kankuro's fingers twitched with similar anticipation, his seemingly absent puppets concealed in a location known only to himself - ready to spring up at the slightest flick of his wrist (accept for Black Ant, who was in ruins). Even as the dust from the skirmish only moments before settled around them, the new cluster of enemies crouched dangerously amongst the lethal shrapnel, closing in for round two.

"Don't come any closer, or we'll kill him," shouted Kiba. He loomed menacingly over their hostage with a kunai pressed to the older man's throat; the threat fell upon five pairs of deaf ears. Before either teenager could make good on the promise of bodily harm to the renegade, a full on onslaught erupted upon the Leaf and Sand representatives with a blitzkreig of projectiles and justu flying at them from every cardinal direction.

000

Somewhere on the border of Fire and Tea Country, team Shikamaru sat appropriately outside a tea stand and rested from the road. The leader in question, contrary to his usual laid back manner, fidgeted restlessly with with his cup and gazed distractedly off into the distance as the others conversed.

"I love these dumplings," Naruto was saying.

"Yeah," agreed Chouji.

Lee consulted the map, declaring around a mouthful of dough, "I bet we could make it to the Degarashi Port in an hour if we tried."

Chouji turned to stare at him, "Who's trying?"

"I am."

"I'll see you there, then."

"On our team, Gai Sensei always tells us to imagine that we're trying to outrun a tsunami made up of fire jutu-breathing tigers...that always makes me run faster."

"Wow, that's bizzare; you really need to relax and stop eating your sensei's 'medicine balls'," admonished Naruto, stretching leisurely on the bench and propping his feet up across Chouji's and Lee's laps, "we're with Shikamaru on a cake mission - there's no reason to rush around like we have anything important to do is there?"

Chouji gave his friend a knowing look. "You're worried about leaving Kankuro with the car, aren't you," he asked, shoving the blond genin's shoes off his legs as he shifted solicitously toward Shikamaru.

Naruto shrugged, "Why, he's with Kiba and Akamaru; they won't let him get away with anything."

"Unless he found a way to overpower them and leave with Shikamaru's station wagon after they got it fixed," postulated Lee, suddenly furrowing his thick brows with apprehension.

"No way!" Naruto objected with a dismissive swipe of his hand.

"Anyway, I'm sure it'll all turn out okay," Chouji continued to his still distracted best friend.

Shikamaru finally glanced up, forcing himself out of his train of thought for the moment. "Yeah, I'm sure you're right," he replied to the round boy, then slowly rising to his feet, he stretched the stiffness out of his limbs and turned to address the whole team, "well, we should probably go ahead and keep moving."

Gradually the others pulled themselves up as well and set down their respective mugs to head toward the road once again. Everyone accept for Shino, who remained seated on the stone bench staring mysteriously at something on the end of his finger.

"Hey Shino," called Shikamaru tiredly, "you comming?"

"Yo Shino, wake up and stop picking your nose; it's time to go already," shouted Naruto over his shoulder.

The hooded ninja looked up slowly, his brow knit above his fathomlessly dark shades. He raised his index finger slightly higher like someone who was signalling for their check in a restaurant. He said simply, "The kikaichuu have returned."

"What, your bugs," asked Naruto.

"Are they bugs that you tagged Kiba and Kankuro with," Shikamaru broke in.

"Yes," affirmed Shino to both questions.

"So what does that mean," pressed Lee.

Within his hood, the Aburame's frown deepened as the little beetles on the end of his finger performed a series of acrobatics and figure eights in the air. Presently, the reticent ninja's eyes met Shikamaru's.

Everyone stared back at Shino.

000

"Okay, I think we lost 'em." Both ninja and dog were panting heavily as they crouched together within the steep and narrow ravine. Kiba craned his head skyward, sucking the air into his nostrils between ragged breaths - "They're over a kilometer behind us, its probably safe to begin heading for Tea now."

"Are you crazy," puffed Kankuro, "we don't know that they won't follow us to Tea; they've obviously followed us this far."

"Yeah, no thanks to you," Kiba pointed out, "once we ditch that car, we'll be better off."

"No way!"

The Inuzuka's eyes suddenly blazed. "I don't care what _you_ do!"

Akamaru interrupted the dispute with an urgent growl.

"What?" demanded Kankuro.

The younger boy glanced at his dog, then scanned the air once again. "Someone's heading this way."

"Who?"

"Shut up," mouthed the fanged ninja, his neck still arched back while he relentlessly sniffed.

Impatient for info, the puppeteer focused his own skill - carefully feeling out the surrounding area for any invading chakra signature, but several minutes of this yeilded nothing. That damn dog sure had a knack for picking up on chakra, he noted with begrudging admiration.

Without warning the large hound's tail began to thump enthusiastically against the wet ravine floor, flinging droplets of water into their faces. Kiba quickly spun round and he and his beast's eyes met in a silent yet meaningful exchange. Giving no explanation at all to the bewildered Sand nin, the pair inexplicably leapt out of hiding and raced off.

"Hey," shouted Kankuro after them, "What are you doing?"

Akamaru quickly took the lead with Kiba not far behind. Kankuro irritably rushed to catch up. After several minutes, it became apparent to the impatient puppeteer what was going on as he gradually picked up on the approaching collections of chakra himself. The clearing ahead opened up and all of a sudden five Leaf-nin stood before them, looking like fellow conspirators awaiting the last of their party's arrival at the predetermined rendezvous point.

"Yo," said Naruto smirking at the center of the group, "we heard you guys were having some sort of trouble, so we came to see if you could use some help."

"What are you guys doing here," demanded Kankuro.

"This must have been you, Shino," Kiba observed.

The Aburame nodded, "That's right, though we were too far away to really be of any help in an emergency."

"Well," shrugged the other member of team 8, "we're atleast in the clear for the time being; we've managed to shake the guys that ambushed us."

"Why were you ambushed," Shikamaru inqiured, his falsely disinterested gaze flicked momentarily toward Kankuro as he spoke - the other ninja glanced away evasively.

However, it was the Inuzuka who spoke in the jounin's stead, "Turns out our Sand buddy has been very busy recently - haven't you, Kankuro?"

"What does that mean," pressed Shikamaru.

"Where do you guess this guy might have come from directly before he left to catch up with us, any idea?" Kiba whirled around, his face inches from the Sand-nin's as he screamed, "How about leading an entire squad of pissed off assasins right to us! We barely escaped with our lives!"

Kankuro gave no reaction other than to stare past the Inuzuka and challengingly back at Leaf's captain.

"Is that true," drawled Shikamaru, arms folded across his chest.

"I can't help that the idiots thought I was part of some rival gang," shrugged the jounin, "but, yeah, I killed a yakuza head and some guys apparently followed me. Anyway, it was also thanks to me that we got away without serious injury." He shot a scathing look toward Kiba.

A small uproar occured among the assembled. "How can you be so flippant, you idiot; do you care about anyone but yourself!"

"This mission was supposed to be fun - what is a disaster!"

"So just how many goons are out for your head, Kankuro?"

Struggling to maintain his look of indifference, the jounin inwardly groaned at the embarrasing disintegration of his situation. "Ah, I don't really have that information - but enough to make up at least an organization - _obviously_."

"Very funny, smart ass," sneered Naruto, hands on hips; he turned toward Shikamaru, "so what are we supposed to do now - take these guys out?" Standing beside him, Lee seemed similarly prepared to carry out the jinchuriki's suggestion.

The Nara raised his hand for silence, "Okay, listen up, we're not about to do anything accept get back on our originally planned schedule - this is still an official mission. As far as any possible future ambushes are concerned, even though it's a pain, we're just going to have to keep our guard up for a while. And finally as for you, Kankuro," he turned a resentfully long-suffering look on the Suna-nin, "You've been nothing but a pain in the ass since you showed up, but now it's just too much; you have to go."

Kankuro's cool expression broke all of a sudden - just like Kiba's fist through his poor Kuroari. He staggered back, reeling from the unwarranted rebuke. Quickly, the puppeteer recovered, fixing a bewildered smirk on his face, "Say what; is this supposed to be a joke?"

"No it isn't," sighed Shikamaru, "You're a liability to us and our mission."

"Well, you guys are a liability to my car," shot back Kankuro, "so if I go, I'm taking it back with me!"

"If you do, then you're only going to cause more trouble for yourself since that's probably how those people were able to track us in the first place," pointed out Shino offhandedly.

The jounin spun round to glower at the enigmatic bug-user, but for several moments his mouth only worked irritably for some countering retort that wouldn't quite come out. "So let _me_ worry about it, then," he finally quipped.

"Hey that's not fair," Naruto objected, "We had it first, it belongs to Shika's grandpa..."

"Uncle," corrected Shikamaru indifferently.

"...and we need it to finish our mission," the blond finished heedlessly.

"Shut up, no you don't," Kankuro crossed his arms obstinately.

"Well, neither do you," challenged Chouji, stepping up beside his captain. The other Leaf-nin followed after the plump boy until an impromptu wall of shinobi stood opposing the lone Sand ninja. The two opposing, drastically uneven sides stared each other down in a bitter stand off which lasted several long, unnerving moments before Kankuro at last ripped his eyes away from the cold stares of the others with a vicious oath.

"Fine, have it your way then," he said crisply. Stomping several paces off, he abruptly whirled back on them, "but keep this in mind, Nara: I'll be checking in with you again in the very near future - and when I do, that machine had better be in perfect condition and ready for me take driving - otherwise..." Kankuro allowed the threat to trail off poignantly.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes while Kiba snorted, no one gave any further response. The puppeteer shot one last pointed look over his shoulder, then ruefully turned and vanished in a flicker.

Smirking to himself as he sprinted away from his ex-traveling companions, Kankuro quietly took juvenile satisfaction in the belief that he still held the engine replacement safely tucked away in one of his many scrolls. He would gnash his teeth and curse the entire team of chunin only later when he stopped to take a full inventory of his belongings.

000

"Ah, here we go," said Kiba, kicking tangles of wooden limbs and other odd puppetry parts aside and lifting up the large V-shaped prize from the unfurled scoll.

"Nice work, Kiba," Naruto slapped his fanged friend on the back.

"Eh, no biggie," shrugged the Inuzuka with one of his smug grins.

"Kankuro sure keeps his scrolls in disarray," commented Lee, nudging a broken puppet head experimentally with the toe of his sandal, "Tenten would be appalled!"

Presently, Shikamaru pulled his head out of the car hood, an assortment of parts and tools scattered around his feet, "Nice, I'm almost ready; let's get this wagon up and running again."

A chorus of male voices rumbled in agreement.


	9. Chapter 9

_Finally another update down; thanks for everyone's amazing patience with this story!_

000

"So you decided to come back after all; where in the world have you been for so long?"

Kankuro brushed past the party of guards assembled at the entrance and stepped around Temari without acknowledging her.

"Hey so what happened," his sister pressed after him, "Baki said you just ran off to Konoha after your mission - something about some personal business you had there."

"Yeah, I kind of don't want to talk about it, okay."

"Wow, so something bad happened then?"

"You could say that, so let's drop it." Kankuro continued down the path toward the administration building, his back still toward the inquisitive kunoichi who trotted after him.

"Fair enough," shrugged Temari. After a brief pause she went on, "So several assassination missions have come up since you've been gone; Gaara was disappointed that you weren't around."

"So why didn't_ you _take any of them," he countered.

"I have more important business to take care of" dismissed the young woman with a sigh, "I'm getting ready to head back to Leaf myself in a couple days - and here I thought it'd be at least another month or so before I had to see that dorky pineapple-head again."

"Don't even mention that Nara prick to me," rumbled her brother over his shoulder at her. They reached the large central building and Kankuro nearly plowed over a group of elderly advisors while shoving the door open.

"Oops," grinned Temari, "some trouble brewing with the bro-mance?"

"Shut-up!"

"Ah, now we're getting somewhere; so what was it - did a girl come between the two of you or something?"

"What? No! Nothing came between us - I mean - _we were never friends_!"

"Was it that Ino-chick by any chance?" Temari gave him a sympathetic look, "She seems like kind of a tramp."

"THERE IS NO BRO-MANCE!"

His outburst reverberated off the sandstone walls and down the cavernous hallways of the very acoustical administration building. Temari waved blithely at the startled onlookers who'd stopped to stare at the passionate puppeteer before casually pulling her brother aside to a nearby office.

"Okay, enough's enough, dummy; spill it," she demanded with a brandished fist.

Kankuro let out a gusty breath and turned sullenly away. Temari gave his nipple a vicious tweak for added incentive.

"OWWW DAMMIT, you're such a bitch!"

"Well?"

He rubbed his chest while he glared at her. "Fine! It all started after my mission with Baki..." he then proceeded to give her the entire dramatic, expletive-laden story.

When he'd finished she stood blinking in surprise at him. "Whoa, sounds like you've been far busier than I ever realized - not to mention sloppy! I can't believe you let yourself be tracked down by a bunch of second-rate ninja because of some stupid car!"

"It's not 'some stupid car', okay; you wouldn't understand!"

"You're right: I think you're all idiots, but especially Shikamaru. He's the last guy in the world I would have thought would be that dumb; since when did he become so obsessed with mechanical stuff anyway," Temari cast a dark glance at her brother, "Must've been your bad influence."

"Whatever, all I know is he'd better not get my car blown up or anything - 'cause as soon as he pulls safely back into Konoha I'll be there. He'll never see that beautiful high-performance machine ever again... she's finally coming home to daddy."

Temari rolled her eyes, "Uh-huh, but why wait? Why not just sabotage the whole mission to get back at them and _then _steal their car, y'know, to add insult to injury - wouldn't that just show 'em?"

Kankuro suddenly froze; a triumphant expression slowly spreading across his face.

Temari eyed him warily, "What? No, Kankuro, don't be any more of an idiot than you can help - just don't."

"Tooo lllaaate," he sang as he skipped out of the room.

The kunoichi stomped after him, "Hey, are you _trying _to get yourself killed, you moron? There are still people after you, y'know..."

000

Shikamaru, his knees drawn up tightly against his chest, shivered slightly and rolled the other direction in hopes of finding the elusive comfortable position within his narrow sleeping space. With eyes still clamped determinedly shut, he adjusted the position of his legs for what must have been the thirty-fifth time until his feet finally wound up propped across a lightly snoring Chouji's lap. Satisfied, the boy slowly drifted back to sleep.

What seemed like only moments passed before the Nara was stirred awake yet again by the unpleasant sensation of something cold and clammy nudging his loins.

"WAAAH!"

Akamaru's massive head shot up from Shikamaru's lap in surprise and he snorted indignantly down at the boy from the gap in the front seats where he'd apparently wedged himself during some point of Shikamaru's fitful slumber.

"Huh, what," gasped Chouji, fumbling to sit up. The others in the back shifted blearily as well, looking around in muddled alarm for the cause of the disturbance.

Lee, the first to rouse to full alertness, sprang up so forcefully from the cargo area that he nearly brained himself on the roof. "WE'RE BEING ATTACKED - WHERE ARE THEY?"

"No, no; it's nothing," Shikamaru brushed off the ensuing commotion, quickly pulling himself to an upright position. He fixed the oversized canine with a surly look that he then shifted to Kiba, "Could you please tell Akamaru to keep his nose to himself?"

The offending hound gave a low grunt to which his master relayed evenly, "He says he was just trying to find a warm spot to put his face."

"Then let him use _your_ crotch!"

"Heh, heh," Chouji began to chuckle as comprehension gradually dawned on his groggy brain.

"Huh? Wait, what's going on," the still drowsy Naruto gazed around dully, "who's doing _what_ to _who's_ crotch?"

Shikamaru sighed with weary gusto. So far their stay in Tea (keeping, of course, with the chunin captain's track record) had not gone at all according to plan. For some reason, arrangements for their stay in the country had not been properly arranged in the first place and as a result the team found not only no penthouse suite awaiting, but not even a cot in a broom closet available.

Unfortunately for the road-weary team, an inexplicably coinciding business convention had booked virtually every hotel and inn in the land for the next several days in order to accommodate its mass of participants. Beyond the inconvenience, however, something about the multitude of jointly staying guests in the country of Tea greatly unsettled the Leaf team's captain.

Judging by the telling appearance of some of the convention attendees, Shikamaru had a hunch that the business in question had criminal undertones – Tea Country had a bit of a history when it came to such things as it was. Even the leader they were supposed to meet, a certain Wasabi Jirocho, was a very well-known gambling family kingpin. All things considered, the last place they needed to be at the moment was surrounded on all sides by the yakuza network - yet here they were. Their situation had the already jumpy Shikamaru (as Lee and Naruto would both agree) on edge more than Neji near a heaping plate of Curry of Life.

As it was, the Nara had even considered skipping Tea altogether, but after a team discussion it was decided they would remain.

"We have a mission to complete," reasoned Lee fervently, "regardless of the risk to ourselves due to our own poor judgments – we can't fail the Godaime!"

"We have made a commitment to see this through," Shino solemnly agreed.

Shikamaru slumped as one shouldering a great weight, "I have to take responsibility for everything that's happened so far…sorry for dragging you guys into this mess."

Chouji sat awkwardly picking at a scab on his arm, "it's not like you could have seen this coming," he mumble without looking at his teammate.

The rest of the group remained diplomatically silent. However, it made no difference – he knew just as well as they did that he, the ever-perceptive genius, _should _have seen it coming. Still his team was right, duty called and they had appointments to keep.

Since discretion was seriously needed for both the wagon and its passengers, the best solution seemed to be to hide both at the same time. Within Shikamaru's genjutsu, their transportation took on the appearance of an average gray dumpster which sat behind an abandoned building on the outskirts of town. As long as they remained inside, the six Leaf-nin and one dog were imperceptible and relatively comfortable, if not snug, in their makeshift sleeping quarters.

"Tell me again why we have to sleep in the car," whined Naruto as he longingly eyed the spacious-looking row of buildings they passed along the way to their destination. Temporarily abandoning the station wagon to the effectiveness of the group leader's cleaver camouflaging skills, the youths now hoofed their way out to a sprawling compound just outside the city proper of Degarashi in order to meet with their host.

"I happen to know this Jirocho guy – he's Granny's old friend – he would definitely have put us up; heck, I'll bet he even owns most of the hotels around here!"

"It doesn't matter," Shikamaru waved him off, "we don't need to involve him in our problems."

"But he's got connections – he might be able to help us."

"Forget it; I doubt it's within his ability, and it'll probably just cause more trouble for us as well as him – that would be completely counterproductive to our assignment." Shikamaru rapped on the great outer door before turning with finality to the rest of his team, "so let's not even mention it, okay?"

000

"So you've come on a mission to drum up some business have you," asked the aging proprietor, taking a deep drag of his cigarette as he looked over the young ninja from Leaf. "The fifth told me she was sending some shinobi my way, but she neglected to tell me exactly when to expect you guys."

"Sorry about that," apologized Shikamaru with a short bow.

"No need to worry," Jirocho shrugged with a smile, "there's always work for ninja around here – especially ones from Leaf; my organization never hires anyone else. I'll send out word through my men today and inform the people to submit their requests if you'd like."

"That will be fine," agreed the Nara, "but if you don't mind, please make sure they restrict the information to Tea civilians only."

Wasabi Jirocho fixed him with a curious look, but nodded, "Of course; I'll see to that – they'll go around to the local businesses and avoid the tourist areas. In the mean time, why don't you boys take a load off and have some breakfast?"

After their meal the Leaf crew sat and chatted together with their host while they waited for word back from the locals. Shikamaru did his best to appear interested in the small talk going on, forcing himself to respond where appropriate, as all the while the steel trap that was his mind ran through every scenario that could possibly happen during their time lingering in Tea. He knew, of course, they could not continue completing missions and running from rogue ninja forever. Something potentially drastic would have to be done if they were ever going to accomplish their assignment, but he cringed to think of what a confrontation could cost his team.

Not quite an hour later Jirocho's messengers returned with pouches full of scrolls bearing requests for the ninja's assistance on a wide spectrum of different topics. With slack jaws, the six bemused shinobi began dutifully sorting through the stack of potential jobs. After narrowing down the prospects to an even six, the team leader then divvied out the tasks to his subordinates.

"Will it really be okay for us to split up for this, though," wondered Shino.

"They're simple enough tasks," Shikamaru replied, "so they shouldn't take long to complete, plus we'll be in close contact if any kind of situation happens to crop up." He glanced at the rest of them, "Just be aware of your surroundings and each other's locations at all times, and if all goes well we'll meet up at the rendezvous point afterward."

So with their assignments selected, the Leaf team took their leave of Jirocho and headed out into the town for whatever might await them.

000

Chouji stood scratching his head at the field of noisy black birds. His assignment was straightforward enough: get rid of them, however, the bulky ninja still felt somewhat out of his element. According to the client, the crows had become a sudden nuisance fairly recently and no amount of threats or trickery could keep the squawking pests away from the newly planted crops which, as he observed, even now they devoured ravenously.

"I can't even shoot them," uttered the mystified farmer, raking his hands through his sparse hair until it stood out in all directions over his head like the picked over seedlings in his field, "they just vanish and then reappear afterward – nothing frightens them away; I can't figure it out."

"Yeah, weird," grunted the chunin in agreement. One of the birds at once looked up at Chouji and gave a deriding croak that came out sounding shockingly like 'faaaaat aaaasssss'. The boy stiffened, his nostrils instantly flaring as he met the bird's black gaze with his own blazing hot one.

"Leave it to me," rasped Chouji, "these buzzards are goin' down."

Fifteen minutes later found the slightly breathless Akamichi using his enormous hands as mitts to ensnare the murder of cackling crows. After each swipe, certain he'd caught an entire handful, he cursed to find his fists once again empty – a chorus of mocking caws resounding above his head.

"These aren't any ordinary birds," muttered Chouji, eying the ringleader darkly. The large crow in question cocked a singular red eye at him that glittered like a garnet surrounded by soot, then puffed out its coal colored feathers menacingly. A dramatic pink scar zigzagged its way across the bird's breast. "Humph, I wonder what this means…"

"What's going on," asked the farmer, "can't you get rid of them?"

The ninja didn't immediately answer. Instead, doing some quick thinking, Chouji pulled a trick out of Ino's repertoire. Whipping fiercely around toward the birds, the boy suddenly charged at them.

"_You_ _damn bastards_, _DIIIIIEEEEE_," he screamed, flinging fists full of kunai at the feathered creatures.

As expected, the crows easily avoided the projectiles. After landing casually back on their perches, they proceeded to preen smugly. Chouji stood panting and scowling, but made no other move while he watched them fluff up and click their beaks arrogantly down at him.

On cue, the tagged kunai embedded throughout the cluster of trees where the unsuspecting crows roosted abruptly exploded. A shower of nets shot out of the smoke, ensnaring the squawking fowl in layers of heavy mesh.

"And that's how you do it;" a smirking Chouji crossed his arms.

The farmer looked at him in amazement, "I can't thank you enough; I didn't know what I was going to do!"

The large boy grinned bashfully, "It wasn't anything special – just a dumb trick, but whatever works I guess…"

Without warning, the nets began dropping from the trees one after the other until each hit the ground with a heavy thump, each one was empty except for a few stray feathers.

"They escaped," gasped the farmer, his hands flew once again to his badly ravaged hair.

"Yeah," Chouji looked on with somewhat less alarm, the cogs slowly but steadily clicking away in his head, "but I don't think you have to worry about them coming back."

000

Several minutes later, with the crow situation decidedly taken care of, Akamichi Chouji raced through the fields until he reached the town, and then headed quickly to the appointed meeting place in the square. Shikamaru was already there sitting at the fountain. Everyone else, it seemed, had yet to arrive.

"Shikamaru," gasped the other boy, coming to a halt in front of his friend, "I think something weird is definitely going on; I just finished capturing a bunch of ninja crows in a farmer's field!"

"Yeah," replied the Nara from where he lounged against one of the large concrete statues adorning the fountain without taking his gaze from the skyline, "I'd definitely say so." His eyes then flicked almost imperceptibly to his left and Chouji followed the glance to a bench on the other side of the plaza where a man sat reading a newspaper.

Upon careful scrutinization, the man's exposed arms bore distinct scars that clearly came from the edge of a sharp blade. His eyes, likewise, never seemed to move over the words on the paper, but only stared straight ahead as if peering through the page held in front of his face. He gave his paper an abrupt flap and looked across the square to a shop's doorway where second man leaned, picking his nails with a senbon.

Chouji looked around the square and soon noticed a handful of suspicious characters all looming around in apparent nonchalance – doing very little to disguise the obvious fact they were ninja. The reality slowly sank into the pit of the Akamichi's stomach and sat there like a heavy late-night snack: the enemy had them surrounded, and was now toying with them. He turned apprehensive eyes on Shikamaru, but the other youth remained as placid as if he himself were a stone statue.

"They're not going to do anything for now, so let's just chill out until the others get here," he uttered dully as he continued to cloud gaze. "Besides, I could use a quick nap."


	10. Chapter 10

_Though it would seem that the universe doesn't want me to ever finish this story, I'm still hanging in there..._

000

"Do you get the feeling like we're being watched?" Naruto's narrowed eyes shifted suspiciously from left to right as he muttered to the boy next to him. Lee also cut his large round eyes to the side before answering in an equally low voice.

"Yes; it felt like I was being watched earlier as well – when I was completing my mission – by some black birds."

Naruto glared up at the trees in search of any offending fowl. On cue, a raven took wing from one of the higher branches and sailed off over their heads cackling.

"Stupid birds," groused Naruto. Reaching instinctively for a kunai, he hurled it straight for the airborne creature. The missile seemed like it would hit its mark, but at the last moment the bird performed a summersault and caught the shaft of the blade in its talon as both boys looked on stunned.

Still cawing merrily, the raven wheeled around and suddenly dove at them. With a violent flap, senbon shot from between its wing feathers onto the surprised ninja below. Naruto leapt one direction while Lee side-stepped the opposite way. The row of needles landed harmlessly in the ground between them as the bird swooped away with more obnoxious squawking.

"Come back and try that again, you beaked bastard," shouted Naruto after the instigator.

Lee held up a hand to shade his intense gaze from the almost equally intense sun's glare and frowned into the distance after the bird. "Hey Naruto, that crow seems to be headed in the direction of the station wagon, doesn't it?"

"Wah?" Naruto leapt into one of the trees and followed his friend's line of vision from above, "Hey, you're right; maybe it wants to sabotage us!"

"Do you think we've been discovered," exclaimed the second boy, having joined Naruto in the trees within a moment, "we should hurry and meet up with Shikamaru and the others!"

"There's no time for that," Naruto objected, "We've gotta nip this thing in the bud before that stupid bird gets reinforcements and we're surrounded – c'mon!"

The tow-headed ninja lead the way as the two of them raced after the bird. They followed the dark creature all the way to their jutsu-concealed car – suddenly gasping at the sight before them. Not one, but dozens of crows met their shocked stares. Crows roosted on and all around the still disguised automobile – some perched above on power lines, others resting directly on the "sill" of the supposed dumpster, peering offhandedly inside as if it contained some scraps not worth inspection. Each bird looked over in turn at the pair of Leaf-nin like their arrival had been long expected.

"Looks like they really have found us after all," remarked Lee, his mouth setting into its customary M-shaped scowl.

"Well, it's a good thing they're nothing but a bunch of stupid birds anyway," Naruto snorted, flexing his shoulders with a loud crack, "What do you say we clean this crow's nest out, Bushy Brows?"

The bowl-haired boy looked no less ready to comply as he took a fighting stance beside his compatriot; nevertheless he gave Naruto a sideways glance, "Be careful: we don't know what these birds might be capable of."

Naruto smirked back, "They don't know what _I__'__m_ capable of!"

"_Kage Bunshin no Jutsu_," the blond shouted without preamble and several dozen clones immediately surrounded the black birds. Brandishing kunai and many well-aimed shuriken, they dove on the creatures. Lee watched the numerous Narutos land on their feathered targets, but before he could properly perceive the outcome an enormous cloud of smoke unexpectedly billowed up, obscuring his view.

Lee leapt back, shielding his mouth and nose, "Naruto," he yelled. He dropped down into a rapid spinning kick, creating enough wind to quickly disperse the cloud enveloping the massive assembly. With the air somewhat cleared, the taijutsu specialist espied a crowd of Uzumaki vigorously strangling and otherwise grappling with one another, however, there were no birds to be seen anywhere. Only a sprinkling of black feathers and droppings attested to the previous presence of the wily crows.

"Huh?" The Narutos suddenly seemed to come to the same realization as the green-garbed chunin now that the smoke screen had cleared. "Where did they go?"

"I don't know," confessed a leery Rock Lee, "they escaped in the confusion."

The one Lee and over thirty Narutos stood at the ready, glancing in all directions for the retaliation that might fall at any second from their hidden enemy. Lee even eyed the feathers on the ground suspiciously as if expecting them to suddenly fly up and start stabbing the ninja of their own volition.

"Look, there's one," called out a Naruto somewhere over Lee's left shoulder; the chunin whipped around to where several clones were pointing up at one of the large black creatures sitting alone on a thin, naked branch, blinking down at them. All at once another bird emerged from behind the first, and then a second followed. Three birds quickly multiplied into nine which further multiplied into many more until their numbers were even larger than previously.

The Leaf Ninja prepared themselves for an aerial attack; however the nin-birds showed seemingly little interest in them. Instead, one after the other, their beaked gazes turned toward the rusty gray garbage receptacle tucked inconspicuously in the corner of the lot as if hoping to be forgotten. The birds began to gather over and around the deceptively ordinary dumpster. Naruto and Lee held their breaths and their fighting stances as the unthinkable suddenly happened.

The first bird released its bowels onto the Station Wagon below. The teenagers watched the whitewash dropping splatter, and then gasped in horror as the runny excrement began to sizzle and smoke. Several other crows followed suit and droppings began to rain down on the dumpster which instantly dissolved back into a car as the genjutsu surrounding it broke.

"Woah! They're burning holes through our car with their acid poop!" Yelled Naruto.

Another bird lighted down and pecked a tire, easily ripping straight through the rubber with its razor-sharp ebony beak.

"Hey, get away from there," Lee swooped at the nearest crow, barely tapping it with the tip of his toe. The impact was still enough to send the unfortunate fowl careening into its colleague shredding the tire and, together, they went flying – crashing hard against a tree trunk. The remaining birds reacted immediately, redoubling their attacks on the Wagon.

"Arrgh!" Both ninja scrambled to retaliate. Naruto quietly cursed not being able to use rasengan for fear of further damaging the car. With combined efforts, he and Lee managed to fight off the angry crows who were no match for them in close range combat. The birds took hasty refuge in the nearby trees and continued their rain of projectiles onto car and ninja alike as the two leapt defensively onto the roof of their automobile.

"They're far enough away from the car; now's my chance," declared the blond boy, joining forces with a shadow clone. Together, they formed a large swirling sphere of chakara in Naruto's palm which he raised above his head. "_Rasengan_," he shouted as he hurled the glowing mass toward the cluster of trees harboring their enemy. Rasengan hit with the expected devastating results, blowing trees and all nearby greenery to pieces. More feathers showered down over their heads, but no actual birds were to be found among the fallout.

"Damn," muttered Naruto. Both he and Lee looked up to see the hovering black shapes circling unharmed above the diameter of Naruto's rasengan. One after the other the crows began to dive, but not at the Ninja or the car; instead they began to crash purposefully into one another – and in doing so somehow seemed to merge their individual bodies progressively back together.

"What are they doing now," demanded Naruto angrily.

Lee squinted in disbelief through the sun's glare, "I could be wrong, but they look like they're congealing!"

"Like hell! What are they: birds or Jell-o?"

"I've got a bad feeling about this," said Lee, tugging his companion's arm urgently, "they must be preparing an even bigger attack that might totally destroy the car this time – we have to do something!"

"Man – why do they hate our car so much anyway!" Naruto wailed; he turned to Lee, "We could drive away and pick up the others, but we don't have the keys – plus the tire's all ripped up!"

Lee clenched a fist in passionate indignation, "We cannot abandon our manly vehicle to the clutches of this murder!"

"Well, if there were some way to start a car without a key, that would be a start," grumbled Naruto.

Lee froze, his eyes nearly popping out of his head. He clamped tightly onto Naruto's arm, startling a yelp out of the other. "Without a key," he repeated, swiftly reaching into his leg-warmer and pulling out a small travel notebook.

"What are you doing," asked Naruto, agitatedly rubbing at his bruised appendage.

"Something Kankuro told me," the boy in green alluded vaguely, flipping rapidly through pages filled with his miniscule hand writing only to abruptly halt, his finger stabbing a specific spot on one of the little leaves. "Here it is!"

"What?"

"Naruto, please keep these birds busy while I take care of something," asked Lee as if he were merely requesting that his friend keep an eye on something in the oven so that it wouldn't burn. Meanwhile, the green beast leapt off the roof and slid into the driver's seat in one fluid motion.

"You got a plan, Bushy-Brows," called Naruto.

Lee's hand shot up from the open window, giving him a thumbs-up. "Be ready in less than a minute to jump inside!"

The blond smirked, "If you say so." He turned back to the crows which, by now, were considerably fewer in number, but rapidly forming a very sizable replacement.

"Alright, an easy target," grinned Naruto, gearing up for an even larger rasengan. "Just try and avoid this one!"

The massive blue orb flew at the gigantic crow; its beak simultaneously opening to return attack, expelling what looked like a large glowing explosive. Naruto could already see that the bird was going to attempt dodging yet again, but he'd made his rasengan three times larger than before. Just as it seemed his winged opponent might narrowly avoid destruction, the rasengan collided with the crow's ninjutsu. The concussive force of chakra hitting bomb broke over Naruto like a shockwave, immediately wiping out his remaining clones and, if not for the chakra planting his feet to the roof, the blond ninja himself. The Station Wagon lurched forward at the same moment, careening them away from the blast.

Naruto scrambled into the open window on the passenger side and tumbled into the seat next to Lee, coughing and brushing feathers and other bits of matter off himself. He glanced over at his leotard-wearing nakama who gripped the wheel in both hands and pressed completely down on the gas, the rim of the flattened tire crunching over the terrain with an angry roar.

"Hey, what happened to the switch," inquired Naruto, staring at the gaping hole in the steering collumn.

"I unscrewed it and started the engine using my kunai," explained Lee, "Kankuro taught me how to do it while we were in Tea."

"Really? Nice work!"

Lee flashed a quick but brilliant smile, then immediately looked back at the road – which was little more than a narrow dirt path. "Same to you; did you take care of the crows?"

"More or less," shrugged Naruto, "at least I don't think there're enough of them left to give us any more trouble."

000

Shikamaru quickly straightened up from where he'd been slumped against a stone fish gurgling into the babbling waters of the fountain he was seated upon. He glanced incredulously at Chouji who frowned back. Standing stiffly nearby, Shino's shadowy gaze also shifted toward them in silent acknowledgement before transferring to Kiba who still leaned uneasily against a lightly panting Akamaru. They had all heard it – the faint yet distinct roar of an engine – _their_ engine rumbling over rocky terrain, approaching, judging from the rapidly increasing sound, at high velocity.

Around the tense group of chunin, Shikamaru noted the assortment of scattered spooks was also shifting in startled bemusement at the angry engine sounds.

The Nara made a hasty assessment of his team, his stomach quickly plummeting with growing dread. "Where the hell are Lee and Naruto?"

Chouji met his friend's gaze knowingly.

"Those guys… why me?"

A moment later and the Station Wagon peeled into the square from the clearing in a squalling dust cloud, a faint aroma of burnt rubber permeating the air. The group of five bolted toward their compatriots as Lee waved them over wildly.

"We've been spotted, fellows," announced the bowl-headed boy bleakly.

Shikamaru threw a look over his shoulder at the agitated rabble quickly closing ranks around them, "So you thought you'd just go ahead and give them a reason to immediately attack us?"

"You don't understand," gasped Naruto, leaning over Lee out the driver's window, "we just blew up a whole load of their crows that were attacking the Wagon – we had no choice!"

"I don't doubt it," commented the captain dryly, his eye falling on the flat tire they'd been riding on; he winced. "Lee, hurry and grab the spare out of the back."

"Are you serious," gaped Kiba, "you're actually going to try to change a tire at a time like this?"

"No," answered Shikamaru, planting his feet squarely apart and putting his hands together. Shady tendrils instantly snaked from beneath him and shot in six different directions, "You and Lee are going to do that while I hold off the attackers."

The shadow spikes branched into numerous offshoots, weaving around their targets like darting cobras. Though the level of concentration it took to fend off six seasoned ninja from all different directions was beyond the comprehension of most chunin, Shikamaru fortunately multitasked fairly well – grappling and countering his shadow sewing with the resistance of his opponents. Some he managed to stab or otherwise bind while others of the group fended off the tendrils with their own skill. Any civilians in the vicinity were quick to make their escape at the sight of the battling shinobi

"Hurry it up," ground out Shikamaru to his teammates, sweat quickly beading up on his forehead from the intense concentration, "I can't hold 'em…forever."

"But we can't unlock the damn back," panicked Kiba.

Casting him a mildly chiding look, Lee wordlessly swung his leg and roundhouse kicked the back window cleanly in. Together, he and Kiba dove into the hatch, tossing aside all the garbage and other articles amassed in the rear over the days, ripping open the compartment concealing the spare and tools. Shikamaru barked instructions as the two rapidly discarded the old tire and flew into replacing it with the speed of a pit crew, all the while keeping his eye on the six ninja still held (if barely) within his jutsu.

All at once, a bowl-legged ninja, fighting the physical shadows that pierced through his extremities, managed a sudden concussive stomp that sent the ground shaking. The entire group was knocked off their feet by the thunderous earth-elemental attack, including Shikamaru and the others entangled in his shadow technique. The now liberated man, bleeding freely from his puncture wounds, wasted no time moving into another ninjutsu – this one sending a swift wave of wind whipping toward the downed Leaf captain.

Shino immediately intercepted – spreading a shield of bugs between Shikamaru and the attack. The kikaichuu drained the chakra from the shockwave, largely neutralizing its affect on the Nara who only suffered having the wind knocked out of him.

The newly freed rogue-nin quickly made their move even as Chouji, Shino, Shikamaru and Naruto formed a human barrier between the enemy and their busy comrades. Naruto prepared to form another rasengan, however, Shikamaru's shadows were already snaking over the ground toward their targets. The party of attackers darted in all directions, a smoke pellet was thrown, and for several moments nothing but a cloud of gray could be seen, then came a barrage of shuriken and kunai which Chouji deftly intercepted with a span of his amplified arm. The projectiles thudded harmlessly off the Akamichi's armor.

"We're good to go," yelled Kiba – he and Lee standing up from the changed tire.

Shikamaru motioned the rest of the team to the car, "Let's get out of here!"

The seven of them piled into the Station wagon with practiced speed; Shikamaru floored the pedal.

"Don't let them get away," roared the bowl-legged ninja.

All at once an explosion of smoke expanded like thick dough, engulfing all six of the would-be avengers and trailing from the exhaust pipe. Shikamaru smirked up at the rearview mirror in satisfaction - privately thrilled to have have an opportunity to utilize his added handiwork. He and Kankuro had spent countless hours developing the ninja wagon's special features until it truly lived up to its name. A quick pang hit the Nara at the thought; he wondered if the Sand-nin was still safe or whether a team of assassains had been dispatched to go after him as well. He, of course, would still be making his way back to Wind Country – his village being roughly a five day journey from Tea. Shikamaru briefly regretted his halfway vindictive decision to send Kankuro away, but quickly dismissed his remorse over past actions - remembering the pursuers were still hot on their trail.

"We still haven't lost them; they're flanking us on either side," announced Kiba, watching from the rear with Akamaru. Inuzuka and dog had made hasty work placing the back window back in place before the group could be pelted once again with projectiles.

Before their team leader had a chance to react to Kiba's news, two of the pursuers were dousing the wheels of the car with an oil jutsu; the tires began to spin wildly. A third ninja expelled a large fireball which engulfed the entire lower part of the car in flame. Suddenly, from the rear of the left flank appeared the ninja who'd attacked Kiba and Kankuro in the junkyard. With a crack of his chakra-enhanced whip the Station wagon was rent cleanly in half. The team of rogues quickly closed in to take their targets only to start as the destroyed automobile vanished in a puff of smoke.

000

"_Now_ where did they go," demanded bowl-legs.

A tall cloaked ninja with an aquiline nose stepped forward from the group, "Not to worry; I'm still locked in on the chakra signature of the one who destroyed my crows."

"So you were able to establish a chakra link with one of them," the first ninja turned to him.

"He used a huge attack of spinning charka to take out my big raven – most likely his signature move – and my bird performed the ninjutsu override as planned." The man held his hand up in a chakra molding gesture as he sought to locate his yellow-haired prey. "Just as I thought," he continued after a pause, "my sentinels have already found them and are in pursuit. Once that noisy shinobi tries to use his big justu again – he'll be in for a surprise."

000

Shikamaru met Shino's gaze in the rearview mirror. "We've lost them for the moment," the Aburame assured him quietly.

"Yeah," agreed Kiba, with his nose to the cracked window, "I don't smell them in the nearby vicinity."

"We're going to have to take a different route at any rate," grunted the Nara, gripping the wheel with both hands and turning it sharply, "just keep your senses peeled for anything suspicious."

"You mean like that," gasped Chouji, pointing off to the side.

Shikamaru jerked his head toward a dark form looming on the border of the woods ahead of them. The shadow user recognized the figure as one of the ninja from their group of attackers. "How did they find us so quickly," he demanded as the others crowded the side of the car to view the ominous apparition for themselves.

"I don't smell him," attested Kiba, "it's got to be genjutsu."

"But in order for there to be a genjutsu there must be a caster nearby," Shino pointed out.

Shikamaru hastily made the necessary seal to dispel the illusion, but the figure remained. He yanked the wheel sharply to the left within feet of the motionless apparition – the car spun. The Nara performed a rapid succession of seals. By the time the Station wagon had completed its entire 360 degree rotation, they found themselves suddenly planted in the middle of a dirt crossroad which Shikamaru sped straight through without hesitation.

Lee's head whipped from side to side, "Where are we; how did we get here?"

"Fortunately I was able to set up a few summoning tags along the way to Degarashi connected to the car so I could trigger them with hand seals in just such an occasion as this one," grumbled Shikamaru.

"But _where_ have you summoned us," Kiba demanded.

"From the looks of it, I'd say we're about seven hours northwest of Degarashi," informed the team captain, "That should at least keep those rogues guessing for a while."

"Great, now let's get the hell back to Fire," insisted Kiba.

000

Only after nearly an hour of uninterrupted travel did the team finally began to feel confident that they'd at last shaken their relentless pursuers once and for all. Shikamaru spent the majority of the largely silent trip assessing their current situation. He knew at their rate of travel they would reach the border of Fire in just under five hours provided they didn't make any stops. Fortuantely, Shikamaru carried his own fuel with him in scrolls.

He knew once they made it within the home stretch of Konoha the criminal shinobi would have to relent or face the full wrath of the Hidden Leaf, however, much could still happen in that amount of time. Aside from which, the thought of having to explain to the Godaime how they'd managed to provoke the vengeance of an entire crime organization while on a public relations mission made the Nara's guts knot. Shikamaru once again forcefully pushed aside his thoughts for what seemed like the thousandth time and tried to focus on the present.

Kiba was the first to break the sober silence, "I've been spotting a lot of crows around here." He looked pointedly at Naruto.

The Uzumaki glared out the window at the black shapes peppering the sparse trees and brambles that lined the dusty road. "Damnit, how did they find us; I thought I got rid of all of them."

"The crows are back," exclaimed a dismayed Lee, "are you sure they're not just ordinary ones?"

"Their chakra is different," objected Kiba, looking to Akamaru for confirmation – the dog next to him snorted his agreement. "Those are nin-birds."

"The one who summoned them might have already had them stationed around various parts of the country to begin with; they've certainly been following us for some time," noted Shikamaru.

Naruto sniffed, "Well I took care of the ones before." He shifted out of his seat and prepared to take to the roof once again.

Shikamaru watched warily from the rearview mirror as the blond swung himself out the window, "Don't draw any unnecessary attention to us," the captain admonished.

"They've obviously already noticed us, but I won't do anything unless they act up first!"

Much to the genin's satisfaction, he did not have to wait long for a cluster of the birds to begin trailing the automobile. Naruto moved into his trademark attack in one easy motion: rasengan quickly slicing through the crows – or at least it should have. The moment the orb left his palm, Naruto's chakra began to morph and spread around him, progressively solidifying into hundreds of dark angular shapes that flapped and cawed.

In the driver's seat, Shikamaru observed the feathered apparitions in shocked dread while above he heard Naruto's outraged shout. The entire Station wagon held its breath as the sunlight streaming through the windows suddenly darkened and the deafening sound of hundreds of croaks and caws filled the air.

"_Naruto_," yelled Kiba and Lee in unison.

"Hey Shikamaru; what just happened," demanded the Inuzuka.

Without answering, Shikamaru quickly cracked his window. "Chouji; grab the wheel!"

The other boy reached over and did so as the captain formed the seals to allow a shadow to snake out of the car. The solid shade managed to immediately spear more than a dozen of the birds obscuring the windshield as Shino simultaneously sent a swarm of bugs to surround the brief opening created by Shikamaru. Toghether, they barely managed to keep the view from the glass visible enough to avoid a crash.

"Kiba," ordered Shino, "get Naruto."

The Inuzuka's mouth immediately puckered at his teammate's imperious tone but he quickly un-cranked the window the rest of the way. Only a split second later Naruto hurtled through the opening, crashing into Kiba who slammed into Lee. Shino deftly put up a solid shield of kikai between himself and the colliding group of teens, cushioning Lee's considerable impact against the mass of bugs.

Kiba grunted through Naruto's shoulder in his gut and managed to dislodge Lee's elbow from the middle of his back. He glared at the calm Aburame through streaming eyes, "Bastard."

Naruto dove to close the window. "I don't know what happened," he gasped, "right after I used rasengan a whole wave of black birds suddenly poured out of my attack instead!"

"We have to get out of here," muttered Shikamaru glaring hard into the writhing swarm of pitch feathers and beaks. A distinct cracking noise sounded among the pecking of sharp bills against the thick glass.

"We can't even see what's ahead," Chouji's voice rang out over the bedlam.

"There are too many of them; my kikai can't even make a dent," declared the barely audible bug user.

"Even if we could force our way out," Lee added, "we'd just be ripped to pieces!"

The thudding of beaks became deafening as it thrummed over the roof and windows. Huddled under the insufficient thickness of the sheet metal encasement, Shikamaru thought he now knew what a can of sardines must feel like. There was only one thing left to do: the addition he and Kankuro had put in had yet to be properly tested or even entirely completed, but Shikamaru knew he had to make it work now.

The ground became steep and rocky just before it lurched out from under them. The Station wagon had pitched off a cliff. Shikamaru could feel his body rise out of the seat and gripped the wheel tighter. In the back of his head he heard the rising shrieks from his team like they were coming from the other end of a long tunnel. The captain noticed the swarm of birds begin to thin as the car plummeted; he now got a clear view of the rocky terrain swiftly approaching. Shikamaru reached for the turn signal and pulled it toward him; jets of liquid sprayed from the windshield wipers and poured onto the ground racing toward them. Nara Shikamaru gritted his teeth and awaited impact.


	11. Chapter 11

"Ugh!" Kankuro coughed, forcefully trying to dislodge the bug that had just sucked itself down his windpipe. He spat, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and looked blearily around at his surroundings. The forests of Tea Country spread like a shaggy green blanket below him, zipping by at impressive speed. He realized he must have dozed off somewhere between the border of River Country and now because he hadn't remembered flying over the Sea at all. Once again he marveled at how rapid his current mode of transportation was and wondered how he'd ever gotten along without a giant falcon before now.

As in this case, he sometimes felt like he'd missed out by never signing a blood contract with an animal like Tamari had done, but then he'd never have been able to devote the time necessary to becoming the world-class puppet master that he was – and the ninja world have been all the poorer for it. Thinking of ninja brought him back around to the business at hand: Shikamaru's team would undoubtedly be in the port city of Degarashi by now (probably still scrabbling for piddly mission scraps that even the saddest genin flunkee in Suna would be too insulted to accept). Well, good for them – little did they realize that the puppeteer they'd ejected from their group had already traveled all the way to Suna and back again in under three days! Reclaiming his car would almost be too easy – provided he could get around any traps set by Shikamaru.

"Hey, Taka," Kankuro addressed his conveyance, "how do you feel about carrying a full-size Station wagon back over the Sea in your talons?"

The feathers under Kankuro's hands ruffled as the enormous bird of prey emitted a shrill hissing noise.

"Alright, alright – just kidding," the puppeteer raised his hands in surrender, "I'd rather drive anyway." One significant drawback to giant falcons, he'd found over his brief acquaintance with one, was their general surly attitude. He was never completely sure that the bird might not decide on a whim to barrel roll him right off its back at any given moment.

Fortunately (in light of such grim thoughts) not much time passed before the port city appeared in the distance. Kankuro directed the falcon to climb higher into the air until the atmosphere became chilly and thin – he didn't want to risk being seen by anyone as he scoured the area in search of his former comrades. A frown creased his brows as the Sand-nin scanned the happenings down below through his binoculars.

"I know Degarashi is a lively town, but I don't think this is just ordinary hustle and bustle I'm looking at," he remarked offhandedly to the bird. The falcon hissed menacingly – whether at him or in response to his comment Kankuro couldn't be sure.

Clearly some sort of riot was taking place in the heart of the city – but not of the common thug variety. Kankuro could plainly see ninjutsu being thrown around far beneath them. Interestingly, not all the participants appeared to be ninja; the majority of them huddled together defensively, clutching knives and clubs and various odd weapons while a handful of combatants squared off with shinobi skill. The puppeteer almost dropped his binoculars in shock as his gaze fell upon the main Tea contender.

"Hey, who's that guy and what's he doing wearing my face?"

He looked to Taka for some answer to the anomaly, but if the bird knew why there was a replica of Kankuro fighting against a pack of gangsters below in the square, he wasn't saying.

As much as the jonin wanted to further investigate this new mystery, he had an even more uneasy feeling about the group fighting. A ninja riot breaking out in the middle of Degarashi at a time like this could certainly be no coincidence. He was certain this had more than a little to do with himself and, by default, Shikamaru and the Leaf-nin. Kankuro suddenly wondered with a new sense of urgency where his former traveling companions were.

The Sand-nin continued to scan the area through his binoculars and had his falcon sweep over the surrounding area – keeping a keen eye out for any use of genjutsu or other concealment jutsu that might be hiding the absent group of chunin. Coming up with nothing, he began to speculate on whether they might not have already left after being spooked by the overabundance of ninja and yakuza in town. Shikamaru was no slouch, reasoned Kankuro, and he would certainly be hyperaware of any suspicious happenings going on; he might very well have lit out not long after arriving. Nevertheless, that didn't mean that they were safe from harm. Kankuro knew all too well how far the tentacles of the yakuza reached – the chunin were sure to meet with trouble no matter where they went.

The jounin turned one final, regretful look on the uneven altercation taking place back in the city's center. Then, with a grimace, he quickly ordered the falcon to take them out of Degarashi.

000

Just within the border of Fire Country a deep ravine carved its way into the rugged terrain, like an old scar from a blunt kunai, before finally halting at a rocky riverbed below. Only three days prior, Kiba, Akamaru and Kankuro had taken refuge from their pursuers within the same ravine. Water pooled at the bottom at regular intervals here, accept in one particular spot where a large pond of quicksand had inexplicably gushed up into existence only to immediately ingulf a falling Station wagon that had suddenly plummeted nose first into the newly created pit. The car sank quickly into the substance until only its rear bumper still protruded.

Consecutively, a very large adolescent toad appeared in a puff of smoke beside the submerged vehicle. The orange amphibian gave the surroundings a bemused look until, finding no one present who might be responsible for summoning him, turned his attention to the object in the quicksand. Muffled cries seemed to be emitting from within the machine. Gamakichi leaned down close to the sinking conveyance.

"Yo, Naruto; is that you in there?"

A particularly shrill, yet familiar yell met his alerted ear.

"Hey, I'm having a hard time hearing what you're saying – why don't I just pull this thing out of the muck first and then we can talk."

The toad reached into the quicksand and, finding a grip under the back fender, tugged the Station wagon loose as if it were nothing more than a toy lodged in a mud puddle. Gamakichi set the car back on solid ground and peered curiously into the back window. "Hey, what do you call this thing anyway?"

All four doors to the vehicle burst open simultaneously as Leaf-nin and wet sand came pouring out onto the ground. Coughing up muck, Naruto staggered to his feet and turned to his summon, "Thanks, Gamakichi; you saved us."

"Sure thing," grinned the toad, "only you could manage to get yourself stuck in such a crazy situation!"

"Actually…" Naruto trailed off, turning an electric blue glare on Shikamaru.

Now that they were all safe back on solid ground, Shikamaru was less inclined to be apologetic: he met the blond's eyes steadily. "Would you rather have been splattered on the floor of the ravine instead?"

With weary concern, the team leader surveyed the rest of his subordinates. Chouji squatted nearby still panting heavily and trying to compose himself. Lee strode shakily over and placed a bandaged hand on his shoulder, giving the stocky boy a reassuring thumbs-up. Kiba laughed and hugged Akamaru who covered his master's face with a lick from his enormous tongue. Shino stood apart, nonchalantly brushing wet sand from his coat, but otherwise appearing none the worse for wear.

"Well, I still stand by my original statement," affirmed Gamakichi. The enormous summon now looked curiously around at the group of disheveled young ninja and their battered, quicksand caked automobile, knitting his heavy brow he added suspiciously, "What exactly are you guys up to?"

"You know," shrugged Naruto guiltily, rubbing at the back of his neck, "just a mission."

The toad snorted, "Really?"

"Yes! We're not just messing around here; in fact we just barely escaped with our lives from rogue ninja!"

"Rogue ninja? What rogue ninja?"

"…The ones that're after us!"

Gamakichi raised one webbed hand to his eyes and gazed intensely off into the distance, "Oh yeah, I see what you mean; they're everywhere!"

"Oh shut up! Their birds ran us off the cliff!" Naruto waved his arms toward the ravine wall where a couple of the dark specks still circled high above the party.

"Hmm, what're those," Gamakichi frowned up at the ominous shapes.

Shikamaru likewise stood with hands in pockets and an intense scowl as he studied the relentless corvids. "Of course they're just out of my range of attack – what a pain!"

"There are much less of them now, though," noted Lee, "What do you think they plan to do?"

"According to the information from my kikaichu, they're spreading out very quickly – forming a network," Shino cut in.

"No doubt they're alerting the others to our whereabouts," observed Shikamaru, "We don't have much time."

"But we're hours ahead of them," argued Naruto, "We should still have a huge lead."

The team leader shook his head, "We're not dealing with a few isolated renegades here; they were hiding in plain sight all over Tea Country. My guess is there are pockets of them all over this surrounding area too."

Naruto's mouth opened and closed again; he then crossed his arms, "Well, damn."

"Fortunately, I think I know how we can get ourselves and the Station wagon further into Fire before they have a chance to close in on us," Shikamaru reached into one of the compartments of his flak vest and fingered a small scroll. Unrolling the paper, he quickly pulled a piece of charcoal from his back pouch and started scrawling a complex configuration of designs on its surface. "This should just take a couple minutes…"

"Hey Shikamaru…"

"What is it, Kiba; I'm trying to concentrate."

"Yeah well, we don't have any more time; they've already found us."

The Nara looked up with a start. Standing beside his fellow member of Team 8, Shino nodded in solemn agreement. Shikamaru himself could see no evidence of what they affirmed, but he knew better than to argue with the heightened senses of the Aburame and Inuzuka. "How many," Shikamaru groaned.

"A dozen," declared Kiba after a pause, "At least three jounin."

"Make that thirteen," Shino corrected, "with five being potential jounin."

Other than turning a glare on his hooded companion, Kiba did not offer any objections to the observation.

Shikamaru stared at the charcoal stump in his hand for a moment, and then rolled his eyes slowly heavenward. "Well damn," he parroted Naruto.

"That was quick, where did they come from," demanded the same stunned genin, getting into position. He turned to the large toad, "We could use your help if you don't mind sticking around, Gamakichi."

"I'm ready," smirked the summon.

"Great. I'm still afraid to use rasengan – who knows what'll come out!"

"Change of plan," Shikamaru abruptly announced, "Shino, Kiba, quickly give whatever other information you can about our opponents, Chouji – I need you front and center, Lee, stick close to Naruto and Gamakichi…" The Leaf force rapidly assembled itself in preparation for the upcoming ambush.

"I smell carrion," announced Kiba, "and bird – I think one of them is a summoner; prepare for another airborne attack!"

"They are also approaching from underground; five of them," Shino added. "Seven are traveling over land: four from the southwest, three from southeast."

Shikamaru gathered his scroll and sprinted along the shelf of the ravine, posting explosive tags around the perimeter. He then hurriedly finished up his scrawl across the scroll and formed a series of seals before placing his hands over the writing. An invisible barrier formed itself over the top of the crevasse as a result, covering the opening like a dome.

Kiba snorted, an idea popping into his own head as he fixed a look on the wet ground beneath his feet. "Akamaru, let's meet our guests halfway!"

With an enthusiastic bark, the hound joined Kiba and together they formed a spinning fang over fang that shattered through the stone floor of the ravine, sending shards of rock and water flying in every direction. The others watched the preemptive attack with apprehension – none more so than Shikamaru.

All at once, a deafening explosion erupted beneath the earth, sending a shockwave over the ground. Shikamaru, Naruto and Shino were immediately knocked off their feet, only Lee and Chouji, along with Gamakichi managed to remain planted where they stood. Together they looked on in astonished dismay as the forms of Kiba and Akamaru were thrown like ragdolls into the air. The dog hit the other side of the ravine with a bone-crunching thud, Kiba smashing against him a moment later.

There was no time to check on the two downed fighters as a row of enemies appeared among the rubble of the newly formed crater. Without wasting any time, the intruders started into a combo counter-attack. A smoke pellet was thrown into the Leaf nin's midst, immediately after which followed a small cyclone that swept the thick black cloud around them, completely engulfing the ninja. The bleary Kiba slowly opened his eyes just in time to witness one of the attackers enact a senbon shadow-clone. Innumerable needles fell like rain before being swept straight into the whirl of wind and smoke.

Over the helter-skelter, the large orange figure of Gamakichi suddenly emerged above the ninjustu-induced storm. The son of Gamabunta opened his mouth wide and deftly inhaled wind, smoke and senbon in an enormous gulp. The toad's throat swelled with the turbulent mass for a moment, then he belched and the torrent of blackness and needles were hurled back at the rogue fighters.

To Kiba's relief, he saw Naruto and Lee crouched in safety beneath the invulnerable hide of Gamakichi once the smoke had been diffused. Shikamaru had solidified shadow tendrils, encasing himself within them. Not far from him, Couji had assumed his impregnable meat tank form. The only person Kiba couldn't see was Shino. He struggled to sit up, but nearly vomited as bolt of pain threatened to split his head in two; beneath him, Akamaru whimpered faintly.

"Hang tight, Akamaru…"

The unexpected return fire was nonetheless hastily nullified by the enemy team's apparent wind-using specialist who dispersed the projectiles with another well-timed blast of the element.

The rest of the Leaf team quickly geared up for a counter attack. Chouji grew to equal height with Gamakichi, towering menacingly over the five foes and blocking their movement. Shikamaru stood close by with feet spaced apart and arms held slightly away from his sides in preparation to seize them in his shadow even as Naruto uttered a familiar justu and immediately multiplied himself fifty fold.

One of the rogue five went directly into an earth jutsu and within a flash, stone tentacles shot up from the ravine floor and clamped themselves around the ankles of every member of the Leaf team – including all fifty Narutos. The ground beneath their bound feet suddenly collapsed in a massive sinkhole, pulling the trapped ninja down into the gaping pit. The presently forgotten Kiba and Akamaru looked on helplessly – but not for long.

The Inuzuka's eyes widened as he watched a dark, hooded figure materialize behind the row of five, quickly to be obscured by a smog of swarming bugs that instantly settled over the rogue ninja.

000

"Now what's up, Taka," demanded Kankuro. Without explanation, the falcon boss had veered sharply and swiftly increased their height. "I thought we were on a course – make up your mind!"

Taka hissed.

Kankuro exhaled sharply: sick of playing backseat driver. He hated not having control of the situation – and getting no respect from a borrowed summon was just adding insult to injury. Worse even was that the uppity raptor saw no reason to inform him of anything it chose to do – as far as the bird was concerned Kankuro was nothing but a kid being taken for a ride. Doing a slow burn, he instead concentrated on scanning the passing grounds below for activity while trying not to pass out from a lack of oxygen. He was just taking out his binoculars when he noticed something dot the landscape on his periphery like a blip on a radar screen. With budding hope, Kankuro stared through the binoculars at the shape below, identifying it as another bird – but certainly no ordinary bird. A very large vulture with a rider on its back glided ahead of them.

A surge of excitement welled up in him and he suddenly turned to the falcon with newly found affection, "Nice work, nakama!" He gave the animal an affectionate slap. Taka looked for a moment like he would take the puppeteer's hand off with one snap, but decided to wait for a more opportune time - instead returning his hungry gaze to his current target, patiently pacing his distance and letting the other bird lead them to their destination.

"Hold on, Nara," Kankuro said into the roar of the wind, "cause after I save your ass, I'm taking back what's mine." He allowed himself a wide grin at the risk of inhaling another bug.


	12. Chapter 12

During, the amount of time it took for Kankuro and his falcon to swoop down upon the other unsuspecting rider, he was able to assess that his opponent was a kunoichi, was indeed heading for an altercation taking place in the ravine below, and that two other teams were also swiftly closing in on the same spot from the south in a pincer-like movement. Kankuro only had seconds to prepare an attack as Taka heedlessly dove, talons out, toward the buzzard.

The puppeteer employed the aid of Crow and with his other hand grabbed as many kunai as he could hold – together with the help of Crow's four arms he and the puppet rained the sharp projectiles down on the enemy summoner.

Without missing a beat, the vulture veered swiftly sideways – tilting so that the kunai struck and bounced off its armor-plated breast. Over the bird's shoulder, a small yet presumably deadly object suddenly came flying from the girl's hand squarely at Kankuro's face. Catching the golf ball-sized sphere with a chakra thread, he neatly redirected its course away from his head before it exploded off to his left. Kankuro could not help but be impressed with how quickly the pair reacted and worked together to counter his attack. He suddenly became conscious of his and Taka's somewhat less than stellar camaraderie.

Before she could lob anymore of her exploding surprises, the puppeteer hastily maneuvered Crow into place. His trusty companion promptly expelled a bomb of his own. Rather than try to dodge, Kankuro noted that the enemy took a rather different approach; the vulture opened its beak and gulped down the attack. A second later and the explosive came careening back at Kankuro from the bird's gullet, belching its gaseous contents over him and Taka.

The good news was that the jounin was immune to the poison, unfortunately, he doubted his falcon shared the same propensity. Kankuro prepared a hasty wind jutsu to push back the cloud, and then from memory he gauged the distance from himself to the vulture and leapt through the dark smoke screen of gas. Vulture girl clearly hadn't expected to see the hooded shinobi bursting out the other side of the poisonous cloud to land on her mount.

"You must have inhaled too much of that poison, thinking you could just land right on top my bird and get away with it – don't underestimate me, punk!" Immediately, the buzzard flipped into a barrel roll with the kunoichi suddenly on him like white on rice. Though her specialty must have been sniping and long-range attack, she demonstrated to Kankuro her skill in hand to hand as the world spun madly around the spiraling pair. After several moments of grappling, the Sand-nin finally managed to pin his opponent's arms, however this did not faze the rogue ninja. With a deep breath, the vulture girl projectile vomited a green acidic substance that hissed and bubbled as it began to eat away at the flesh of his face and eyes.

All at once, Kankuro transformed into a long-armed, somewhat gangly wooden version of himself. The green acid continued to erode the wooden face as the kunoichi looked on in surprise. She raised her hands to form another ninjutsu before a floppy wooden appendage swung out and walloped her across the face, sending the willowy ninja sprawling backward. Vulture girl barely had time to register the stars swimming before her eyes when she was thwacked again across the head, and then again repeatedly by the relentless swinging puppet.

Across the way and still seated upon his falcon, a pleased grin spread across Kankuro's face; he rarely got the opportunity to use 'Slappy', but the smaller puppet was perfect for just such close-quarter combat.

The kunoichi let out an infuriated growl and sent her own fist straight through the face of the flailing puppet, smashing what remained of Slappy's head to splinters. The arms continued to swing, but she soon caught them, viciously yanking them from their wooden sockets and tossing them like scraps to her vulture. Her icy stare now met Kankuro's and the woman hurled another of her balls at the Sand-ninja.

Kankuro watched the ball explode in midair and a massive net spread over him and Taka. The falcon shrieked his indignation as he thrashed against the netting and fought to stay airborne.

"Poor Slappy," sighed Kankuro in spite of their current situation, "It looks like I'm short yet another puppet."

Taka, meanwhile, swiftly ripped at the net with razor-like talons and beak. Kankuro managed to swipe an opening just in time to see the vulture's open mouth flying toward him. Instinctively, the Sand-nin crouched down and covered his head, however his opponent did not notice the chakra threads that were still connected to his fingers.

The kunoichi was just preparing her combo attack to finish off the other rider and his bird when she felt the back of her arm brush up against something behind her. She spun around to see the same ugly, four-armed puppet from earlier, its open mouth now emitting a gaseous substance.

"Toni, spin," she immediately commanded the vulture. The bird obeyed and down they spiraled.

"After 'em, Taka," bellowed Kankuro; all the spinning was starting to make him queasy. The falcon didn't need to be told twice: he was already shadowing the other bird and quickly gaining ground. Talons spread apart and clamped down upon wings – the vulture shrieked in pain and rage as Taka and Kankuro were pulled into the barrel roll. Suddenly more acid vomit was flying around them and the puppeteer heard his own bird scream.

Taka was whipping his head violently from side to side as Kankuro crouched protectively against the falcon's feathers. The Sand-nin quickly realized the acid had gotten into Taka's eyes and he needed to move fast. Vulture girl, meanwhile, noticing her window of opportunity, easily out-maneuvered the puppet guarding her and hurled another explosive directly at the falcon still clasping her vulture's wings in a death grip. The bomb was immediately intercepted by the busted Slappy, whose torso and remaining limbs bore the brunt of the explosion. Shrapnel nevertheless sprayed in all directions, showering the unfortunate Taka all the same.

The vulture struggled to free himself from the talons grasping his wings, but Taka held fast. The kunoichi reached behind her back and unsheathed a ninjakin, brandishing the blade at the falcon. Karasu swiftly blocked her once again before she could deal a killing blow. The four-armed puppet's mouth opened and fired a poison senbon point blank into her face, which the girl narrowly deflected with her sword. Rapidly, she leapt back as far as she could get from Karasu on the vulture and, with ninjakin still in hand, executed a swift series of seals.

From his cover behind the falcon's head, Kankuro watched as a growing vortex of wind formed beside her. Before he could fully register what he was looking at, the sideways funnel of wind started to suck Karasu toward its center. Kankuro tugged at his chakra strings, trying to wrench the puppet free of its pull – but the jutsu was too powerful and Kankuro soon found even himself being pulled down toward the cyclone.

With an evil smirk and one hand still maintaining the ninjutsu, the kunoichi angled her sword toward the Suna-nin, prepared to run him through the moment he succumbed to the centrifugal force of her jutsu. There was no use resisting, the pull was too strong and before he knew it, Crow was swallowed into the vortex; Kankuro had to release his chakra strings at the last moment to keep from following after his puppet. Karasu tumbled violently around inside the vortex for a moment like towels in a dryer before getting tossed out the back end of the spinning wind.

"Damn," groused Kankuro; he looked anxiously at Taka, "Hang in there!" The falcon flapped furiously against the wind, struggling to remain airborne.

The next thing to go flying was the puppeteer's own hood which ripped cleanly off his head and was vacuumed straight into the jutsu after Karasu.

"Noooo – not my image!" screeched Kankuro, making a futile grab for his trademark head garb only to lose his grip and topple down onto the vulture below.

"Now I have you right where I want you," sneered the kunoichi, pointing her ninjakin at the unwillingly aproaching ninja, "hurry up and come to mama!"

"Woah, mamma; you…looked better…from a distance," grunted the Sand-nin, grabbing handfuls of vulture feathers in order to keep from inching ever closer to the end of her blade.

Her smug smile vanished as quickly as if it had been slapped off. "The same goes for you, face-painter!" She drew back her sword to finish him, and then yelped as she suddenly toppled forward – her jutus coming to an abrupt end – and off the side of the vulture they stood on. He watched as she landed with a heavy thud on top of the barrier Shikamaru or one of the other members of the team must have created around the large crevice. Karasu, after having passed through the wind trap, had already reached the barrier first and was right there to greet the addled girl with another round of poison senbon to exact his revenge – courtesy of the Sand ninja's hastily reattached chakra strings.

Kankuro gave a quick nod to his mutilated puppet Slappy, who still stood on one foot with the other jutting forward from the kick he'd administered to the ninja woman's ass.

"Good work, everyone," said Kankuro, he then turned and looked up at his battle-worn and still blinded flying companion, "Taka, how about finishing off this buzzard, and we'll see about washing out your eyes."

000

Shino had all his insects on the job, but taking on five enemies at once was spreading him a little thin; he wasn't able to effectively immobilize the rogue shinobi who were quickly fighting their way out of the net made by his chakra-sucking swarm. Anxiously he glanced toward Kiba and Akamaru, who still looked considerably dazed and injured from their collision moments earlier. However addled he was, the Inuzuka quickly recognized the trouble his teammate was in and got shakily to his feet. Reaching back into his utility pouch, he pulled out a couple of soldier pills and tossed one to Akamaru, swallowing the other one.

"Come on, Akamaru, let's give Shino some backup."

The first person to break away from the Aburame's hold was the ninja who'd pulled the rest of their teammates down into a sinkhole; he'd also been the first one Kiba and Akamaru had met when they dove underground to attack. Kiba figured he was some sort of earth specialist and, judging by his jutsu, possibly the most powerful in the group.

With the excess power of the soldier pills coursing through their systems, the duo charged the escaping nin. Akamaru suddenly took on his master's appearance and the two Kibas spun ferociously toward the rogue.

Realizing the imminent catastrophe, the other ninja rapidly erected an earth barrier around himself to block the savage drilling attack. As before, the pair pierced easily through the earthen shield, each from opposite sides to ward off another sneak attack. However, the earth user was prepared with a second part to his jutsu as Kiba and Akamaru burst through the barrier to find themselves diving straight into what appeared to be yet another sinkhole.

Kiba came back up, shaking sediment off himself, "Damnit! He escaped underground." He immediately began searching the ravine floor for an ambush; Akamaru diligently sniffed the ground. All at once, the dog gave a shrill yelp to the Inuzuka and Kiba whipped toward his teammate.

"Shino – look out!"

The bug user leapt out of the way just in time to avoid an enormous stone spike which burst through the ground on the exact spot he'd been standing moments before. Another suddenly shot up in the place where he landed afterward, but Shino managed to roll and again keep from being impaled. His kikaichu immediately swarmed around him protectively.

Finally freed from the chakra-sucking insects, the rest of the enemy team wasted no time in forming another combo attack against Shino which Kiba and Akamaru were swift to intercept with a whirlwind of vicious taijutsu.

All the while, a rock pile had buried the remainder of the Leaf force in the earth-ninja's sinkhole. The massive cairn remained deathly still – appearing to anyone who didn't know any better as if all of the victims trapped beneath had been crushed under the mountain of unyielding stones.

Unnoticed, a thin shadow tendril slowly crept over the piled rocks, rapidly branching out into an extensive root system of shadows. A large stone suddenly popped up from the top of the pile and was hurled aside by the snaking shadow to crash haphazardly against the ravine wall; other rocks began to shift restlessly.

An unexpected treamor suddenly rumbled under their feet, causing the combatants to pause, several turned questioning looks toward their own earth specialist.

"Don't look at me," insisted the singled out ninja, "I didn't do that."

The pile of stones suddenly exploded.

"Damn," yelped Kiba in shock, diving for cover from the rain of shattered boulders. He glanced up in time to make out, through the falling debris, the shocking form of Rock Lee jumping to the ground with shiny black hair standing straight up from his head and a terrible aura surrounding his body.

"Whoa, is this what we missed during the chunin exams," he wondered to Akamaru.

Before the dog could reply, however, an enormous fist burst through the pit, followed by the colossal body of Akamichi Chouji. With a primal roar, the giant boy clawed the rest of the way out of the hole. Gamakichi was quick to follow, leaping nimbly up with Naruto and Shikamaru on his back.

"You guys again," huffed the earth user, "did I not do a good enough job burying you?"

"Apparently not," replied Shikamaru as his shadows trailed the ground toward the enemy team.

The earth user was quick to notice the shadowy activity around his feet. "So what happens if one of those touches me," he asked, quickly side stepping the tendrils; the rest of his team dispersed to different corners of the ravine, surrounding the Leaf team.

"You'll find out soon enough," answered the Nara, he and the group of Konoha ninja stood back to back, facing out against their foes. Gamakichi loomed over the entire group; he gave the shadow-user a discreet look which Shikamaru nodded at.

The five rogues moved in rapid synchronicity. "Quintuple Elemental Combination," they called out from every direction.

"You've got to be kidding," groaned Kiba.

"Now, Gamakichi," yelled Shikamaru.

Gamakichi suddenly leap off the ground and Shikamaru's shadow instantly merged with the toad's own. Still in midair, the large summon split into five before touching down in front of every member of the enemy team. Shikamaru's shadow followed each toad clone to his targets just as they released their elemental onslaught upon the Leaf team.

000

Kankuro looked up sharply from tending to Taka; the pair huddled in a small outcropping within sight of the rocky ledge of the cliff. His painted face winced briefly as his eyes followed the careening skid marks that lead off the side of the ravine, dreading what condition he would find his badly abused car in once he made it down to the riverbed, before his attention was again drawn to the surge of chakra he felt swiftly approaching from the south.

"Won't be much longer now," he surmised as he looked appraisingly at the raw, angry acid burns embellishing most of the falcon's face. He let out a heavy sigh and shifted awkwardly, "Listen Taka, thanks for everything; I know you hated carrying me all this way, but I still couldn't have gotten this far without you. I really hate to ask you to do anything else, but as you know, there's going to be some strong guys coming this way very soon – I don't know how powerful or even exactly how many of them they'll be. Honestly, I don't even know if the two of us together would stand a chance against them, but I have to do something to help my friends. If you felt up to it, I could really use your help one more time."

The bird cocked his head to the side, staring hard through his bloodshot eye at the puppeteer he'd carried for vast stretches of time and distance to this very point. With a low hiss, Taka hooked his sharp beak into Kankuro's sleeve and yanked the kneeling ninja forward. Startled and unsure of what to expect, Kankuro watched the falcon extend his enormous wing and then jerk his head roughly at the young man in invitation.

"Do you really mean it?" A lopsided smile spread over the jounin's face as he got to his feet. He carefully re-mounted the bird's shrapnel-torn back. Taka then pushed himself back up on his own scaly feet with a grunt.

"Thanks nakama; now let's do this!"


	13. Chapter 13

000

Tenki Minami slammed into the damp earth, knocking the breath from his body. Fallen friends and foes littered the ground around him and scrambling feet threatened to trample him, but through it all he could see his opponent barreling forward to finish him off with a plunge of his pig sticker to the young man's throat. Minami prepared to dodge as best he could with all the chaos surrounding him – knowing full well that he would probably die in this place, lying in a pool of his own blood like a gutted hog. He couldn't help but wonder what would now become of the Wasabi family once he, the last line of defense, was terminated.

Minami felt the knife graze his left ear as he rolled to the side; it plunged into ground where his head had been moments before. At the same time, the downed ninja's hand reached for a fallen kunai which he thrust at the abdomen of his attacker. The other shinobi swiftly blocked, catching Minami's wrist in his grasp and crushing it. The youth let out a sharp yelp. Once again, the curved knife lunged for his throat as Minami twisted helplessly in his opponent's vice-grip.

The bodyguard of the Wasabi braced himself for a quick death only to feel the sudden spray of a warm coppery substance on his face. The painful close over his wrist immediately loosened and Minami cracked open his eyes just in time to see his would-be killer slump, and then collapse lifelessly on top of him, blood pouring from his gaping mouth.

With a groan, the young man shoved the dead shinobi off himself and struggled to sit up. He immediately noticed enemies falling all around him, cut down by what appeared to be a series of concentrated wind torrents. Behind him, his men huddled, shaken but otherwise unharmed by the sudden attack. The wind seemed to be selectively picking off only the enemy and leaving him and his family alone. He looked up, bewildered, for the source of this unexpected aid.

"Look, it's a giant hawk," screamed one of the men.

"No, it's a harpy," yelled another, "see it has a woman's head!"

Minami squinted through bleary vision until he made out the dark shape of a massive bird. As the fantastic creature came to land, he saw that a woman indeed perched atop its back, a very large fan held aloft in her hand.

The band of survivors clustered together protectively, clutching whatever weapons they possessed in preparation for whatever might come next.

Forcing himself up to a standing position, Minami took a step toward the stranger who stared back at him with almost equal confusion.

"Who are you," he demanded.

"Kankuro..." asked the woman, frowning at him.

"Is that right? I don't know where you came from, Kankuro, but we don't want any more trouble – state your business!"

The woman gazed blankly at him for a moment, "Well, you've definitely got the idiot act down, but I can see now that you're not Kankuro."

"What was that," the young man shot back heatedly.

She gave a sigh, resting her great iron fan in her lap and propping her elbows on it. "You must be the one called 'Minami'."

"How do you know me!"

The blonde offered him an unsettling smirk, "My brother told me your name – apparently you got credit for something he did."

Minami's brow furrowed in thought, "…I have no idea what you're talking about."

"About a week ago, a certain boss of a rival gang got offed and you were blamed for it, right?"

"How do you know this?"

"Like I've been trying to tell you, my brother was responsible, and now he's most likely getting himself into even more trouble due to his boundless stupidity."

"So he's the one to blame for all this bloodshed on my family?" The yakuza ninja gestured accusingly around at his fallen comrades. Several murmurs went up from the group as they all eyed Tamari darkly.

The woman raised a placating hand, "I apologize on his behalf for the trouble, but it was all a misunderstanding." She gave Minami an incredulous look, "Besides, don't you guys already hate each other; you'd have probably ended up killing one other anyway."

A couple of the yakuza shrugged in reluctant agreement at this.

"That's not the point," shouted Minami, "who does he think he is, impersonating me and taking out my adversaries with no authority? You village ninja are so arrogant! I demand that you take me to your brother!"

The kunoichi merely shrugged, "Alright."

Minami did a double take, "What did you say?"

"I don't care if you come with me – but I have no idea where he is at the moment."

000

The jutsu had failed: a relieved Shikamaru could see that right away. Once Gamakichi's shadow clones were in place, the Nara had been able to spread his shadow to all five rogues – preventing their elements from combining into whatever devastating attack they'd intended to unleash upon the Leaf team. Instead, what issued from each of the now captured nin was a series of raw matter which was instantly absorbed by the toad clones. Gamakichi's duplicates vanished upon impact; leaving only the real toad left to devour the blast of fire issued from the attacker before him.

The amphibian's throat swelled to twice the size for a moment before the flames slid down his gullet, a sickly expression briefly crossed his face.

"Hey Gamakichi, you alright," asked Shikamaru.

The summon took a deep breath and suddenly belched an enormous stream of flaming oil, spewing it over the five ninja still glued in place by the shadow bind. The young toad paused, then quickly darted his tongue out and devoured the flaming enemy shinobi one by one. He turned to Shikamaru, "You know, just in case you didn't want 'em all burned up, they'll keep safe in my stomach for a while."

"And here I thought Chouji had an iron stomach," marveled Kiba.

Gamakichi chuckled, "You think that's impressive, you should see what my brother eats."

"Well, that's five down," declared Naruto.

"– And eight to go," Shikamaru sighed, eying his barrier warily.

"Perhaps not," supplied Shino cryptically.

The others looked to him expectantly while the Aburame continued to gaze off into the distance.

"Uh, Shino," Kiba exhaled loudly, "care to elaborate?"

His enigmatic teammate turned to him matter-of-factly, "One of the enemy has been taken out – the flying one it would seem – by yet another airborne attacker."

"Huh," gawked Naruto, "who could that be?"

"Do you think we could have an unknown ally," supposed Lee hopefully.

"I wonder," muttered Shikamaru, however, he had no time to muse any further as he felt the first blast hit the barrier. Pulling out his scroll once again, the captain got quickly to work.

000

"Looks like we were just in time…" Kankuro could see the almost simultaneous arrival of both northbound teams – one a four man cell, the other three. "Eight against seven: that might work, plus we have the areal advantage; I just hope we aren't joined by any other surprise guests." The puppeteer squinted through his binoculars in the hopes of catching a glimpse of the Leaf ninja, but could see only the craggy ledge and walls of the cliff he'd occupied with Kiba just days ago. He didn't dare to fly any higher as of yet for fear of giving away his position; he still wasn't sure how well Taka could hold up to a direct onslaught.

Kankuro watched the group of outlaws as his falcon silently came to land on one of the many surrounding rock formations, the bird hunkered down for camouflage. One of the ninja approached the edge of the ravine where the Station wagon's swerving tire tracks lead off the side. Having spent enough time around strategists to recognize one in action, the Suna-nin saw that the other shinobi was studying the ledge thoughtfully. A shuriken was thrown over the cliff. Kankuro looked on with the other ninja as the metal throwing star suddenly lit up with a volt of lighting. The Sand-nin winced; he had watched the vulture girl fall onto the barrier only moments earlier, however, he hadn't realized from the height he was at that it was electrified.

Kankuro had a little time to plan as the group tried to decide how best to break through the deadly dome keeping them from their prey. With Taka in the shape he was in, and his own dwindling puppet arsenal, he doubted he could take them all on. He only wished there was some way he could communicate with Shikamaru and figure out what the hell the other boy was planning down at the bottom of the cliff – at least that was where the puppeteer could only assume he and the rest of the team was. He still had no idea what sort of shape he would find the Konoha group in once he was finally able to reach them. How they managed to survive a plummet from such a great height was still another thing that perplexed Kankuro, yet judging by the crackling barrier before him, at least someone had to have lived through the crash.

All at once, falcon and jounin looked with a start as two of the ninja began to feed the barrier with a lighting technique. He saw one of them shake his head after a moment – apparently whatever they were trying to do was not enough to break through the force-field. A third man then came forward, holding a large scroll similar to the type Kankuro used to store his puppets. Within a few seconds, the scroll was unfurled and the ninja had summoned what appeared to be something the size of a pill which he handled very carefully. Kankuro watched skeptically as the tiny object was tossed onto the barrier: the reaction was instantaneous. A large bubble roiled to the surface like an angry boil as a shockwave rippled from the area where the pellet had touched down. Before the Sand-nin could register what had happened, the first two element users had resumed their efforts of attacking the electric field with more lightning.

"Ah, now I think I understand," murmured Kankuro with sudden realization to the falcon, "I've seen that technique used before: it's a way of countering an elemental jutsu by hitting it with an equal force of the same element and somehow negating it; I guess they weren't able to overide the entire barrier, so they used whatever that guy's bomb-thingy was to weaken a portion of it enough so that their ninjutsu would be able to break through: watch and see if I'm not right!"

Sure enough, it only took a minute before the bubble of electricity broke and a moderate-sized hole appeared – just large enough for a man to fit through if he gaged his jump carefully.

"You see; my head can do more than just grow this awesome spikey hair!" He nudged Taka triumphantly.

The bird hissed, and this time Kankuro was sure it was meant in a menacing way.

"Aw crap, you're right: this isn't good…"

He watched as, one after the other, six of the ninja leapt through the hole in measured bounds. He knew he had to follow after them quickly before they met with what was left of the Leaf team. Still, Taka would not be able to fit inside and the jounin was not sure if the hole would remain open for very long. Suddenly it struck Kankuro (much like the bolt of lightning that had struck the barrier) there were two ninja missing from the group.

The Sand-nin glanced hastily around, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Had the other two merely jumped into the barrier while he was distracted talking to Taka, or were they now hiding somewhere waiting to ambush him? Kankuro honed his senses for any disturbance in the atmosphere, meanwhile doing his best to hide his suspicion from any prying eyes. Surreptitiously, he reached for a kunai even as Taka let out a sudden shriek and collapsed against the shocked puppeteer. Reacting swiftly, Kankuro let his kunai fly in the direction of the unseen attack. The projectile made contact and all at once the culprit appeared – his camouflage jutsu broken and the kunai buried halfway in his shoulder. The Suna shinobi did his best to whip around, anticipating a simultaneous attack from behind, but partially pinned as he was under the large bird, he wasn't able to move in time before he felt the sharp stab of steel penetrating his back.

"Shit!"

The second ninja now appeared grinning behind Kankuro, the haft of a ninjakin clutched in his hand. "Goodnight, Minami," he heard his attacker say before blackness washed over him.

000

Shikamaru looked up to see a team of six infiltrating his barrier through a small hole at the top of the canyon. A grenade-sized object was lobbed into the breach, triggering the exploding tags placed around the cliffs as a failsafe in the event that his dome was broken through. The magnitude of both bomb and tags detonating simultaneously was enough to send a storm of rocks and small boulders showering down over the group.

While the others scrambled for cover, Shikamaru made haste to spread his shadows up the stone walls even as the enemy stormed inside. One of the combatants exhaled an immensely large cloud of black smoke, completely obscuring the descending attackers – a shower of kunai rained down from the cloud upon the Konoha shinobi.

Thinking quickly, Naruto cast a myriad of shadow clones over the ravine floor – the majority of which bore the brunt of the initial onslaught. Even so, Lee still managed to take a kunai to the leg while Shikamaru barely avoided being struck between the eyes, instead gaining a deep gash across his cheek as he dodged at the last moment. The cloud of shinobi landed amidst a swarm of Narutos who piled on top of them only to be quickly dispersed by a combination of jutsu.

The diversion lasted just long enough for Shikamaru to pull himself together and cast his shadow bind upon the group. The Leaf captain prepared to sew them down while Chouji readied his meat tank to roll over them.

"The rest of you guys hurry up and get inside the Wagon," ordered the shadow user, "we're getting out of here before anything else happens!"

While the others obeyed and climbed into the still soppy car, Gamakichi looked questioningly at Naruto.

"We'll meet you back in Konoha," the blond boy told the toad, "be sure and bring those guys we captured with you – Granny'll definitely want to question them."

"Are you sure you want her to know what you've been up to," winked the young toad.

The genin scoffed, "I'm not scared of that old lady; besides, I think we handled things pretty well!"

"If you say so," The toad gave a final nod before promptly vanishing.

Solidified shadows pierced the skin and clothing of the ninja held in place by Shikamaru's technique. The prisoners cried out in surprise and pain at their unfortunate predicament save the leader of the squad, who maintained a stoic expression as he stared back at Shikamaru.

"Okay Chouji, go ahead and – " but suddenly the shadow user gave a sharp gasp and dropped to his knees as his ninjutsu immediately broke.

The Akamichi looked at his friend in surprise to find Shikamaru clutching at a kunai that had somehow lodged itself without warning into his side.

"Shikamaru what – " The still massive-sized Chouji instinctively moved to help his teammate only to feel a needlelike stab to his throat. He swatted as if to crush an insect that had just stung him only to see a man materialize from thin air and leap to the ground.

Finally freed of the shadow bind, the rest of the team moved in for the kill.

"Chouji! Car! Go!" ordered Shikamaru.

"Shikamaru!" Against his will, the Akamichi gave his friend a last appealing look before leaping for the vehicle and the others now hustling to get out as they saw their leader's situation.

There wasn't a moment to loose; Shikamaru's hands formed a single seal and the Station Wagon – along with everyone touching it – instantly vanished into the scroll sitting beneath the car. The next instant the Nara was struck by a concussive blast of wind and knocked halfway across the ravine.


End file.
